


Up All Night (Blaine Big Bang)

by delicateclarity



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Friendship, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:33:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicateclarity/pseuds/delicateclarity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A season four au/rewrite that follows Blaine's senior year, his relationships, and his growth, as he deals with a blossoming friendship with Sebastian, hard times with Kurt, and a new discourse with his parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up All Night (Blaine Big Bang)

**Author's Note:**

> YO. This has been kicking my ass for at least three months, and I am so, so grateful that it is done. I, of course, could not have completed it without the constant help of my beta [Courtney](http://theholmesofbakerstreet.tumblr.com), who only complained a little bit, even when I sent it when she had to work. I would also like to thank [Naya](http://free-chris-colfer-from-his-shirt.tumblr.com) for her assistance and support. And, OF COURSE, a huge thanks to my artist [Marie!!!](http://freakingpotter.tumblr.com) Your art is so beautiful, and I'm so glad we got to work together on this project. Make sure you go and look at her post for the full art pieces, they look incredible in full size. You can reblog on my tumblr [here!](http://elberethgithoniel.tumblr.com/post/59408170891/fic-up-all-night) I created an 8tracks playlist for this, you can listen [here.](http://http://8tracks.com/darkandbright/up-all-night-mix-blaine-big-bang) Up All Night is the only song I actually recommend you listen to, so I've added it as first track if that's the only one you decide to listen to. Finally - look at the art [here!](http://freakingpotter.tumblr.com/post/59401909632/my-accompanying-pieces-for-the-story-up-all)

**August 2012**

It was the first day of Blaine's senior year, and after months of preparing to face it alone, Kurt was still there. Kurt was at McKinley, haunting the hallways like he never escaped - because he didn't. And that's not what was supposed to happen. For months Blaine was trying to prepare to just be alone.

But, unlike Blaine expected, Kurt still being in Lima didn't make Blaine happy. Watching Kurt try to make the best of his being stuck in Ohio got more painful by the day. Kurt tried to keep a smile on his face and make the best of everything, but he seemed empty. Blaine caught Kurt's face falling when he thought nobody was looking. Kurt wasn't the same person Blaine knew, the ambitious boy he'd watched grow into a man. And Blaine wanted him back.

As Blaine sat in the Lima Bean with Brittany, he watched as Kurt scurried around the room, serving rude highschoolers he thought he'd escaped. He seemed embarrassed and Blaine felt awkward - _This isn’t right. This wasn’t supposed to happen._ Kurt was more than this, serving coffee to his former - apparently lingering - tormentors. Kurt could at least damn well serve coffee in New York instead.

Kurt belonged in New York. He was supposed to do something great. And if he needed some help doing it - as much as it would hurt for Blaine to send him away - Blaine would get him unstuck from Lima.

Blaine talked to the band guys about doing a surprise performance for Kurt. It wasn't the first time, so they weren't very surprised. He ate lunch with them Wednesday and ran some song selections by them, before settling on "It's Time".

Kurt was visiting McKinley on Friday to do the Glee Club auditions. During lunch that day, Blaine gave Kurt the speech he had prepared and his performance and -

It worked. Kurt was leaving.

Everything after that seemed like a rush. Time warped, like it went around him as he focused on Kurt getting ready to leave. 

After, he remembered Kurt laying him down in the sheets, fucking him slowly and whispering how much he loved him. He remembered crying when it was over, feeling cold when Kurt got up to get dressed, and staying cold hours later when he helped Kurt pack. He remembered feeling numb until the moment they were saying goodbye, kissing and Kurt repeating his promises that they would be okay.

And then Burt took Kurt to the airport. And then he was gone.

-

Blaine couldn't bring himself to go to the Lima Bean.

He sat at home quietly and allowed himself to grasp the fact that he was alone in Ohio.

When his mother got home from work, she called up the stairs to him. Blaine was lying on his bed in the fetal position, which was so terribly cliché. God, he and Kurt weren’t even broken up.

When Blaine didn't answer, she walked up the stairs, heels clicking on the wooden floor. The footsteps slowed as she neared his room. She pushed the door open slowly, softly calling "Blaine?"

"Hi, mom." He turned toward her and heard her gasp quietly, coming close to him.

"Blaine, baby, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"It's..." he hesitated, sitting up as she sat on the edge of his bed.

"Kurt left for New York today," he said, watching her closely.

To his surprise, her eyebrows knitted together in sympathy. She pulled him to her chest and hugged him tightly. Blaine froze in shock, before awkwardly hugging her back, wrapping his arms around her.

“Did you decide to stay together?” she asked him. He nodded against her shoulder. “He promised that we would still talk every day.”

She pulled away from him and took his hands, looking him in the eyes. “I hope that you do. I know you love him.”

Blaine’s breath caught as he said, “Yeah, I do.”

There was a beat of silence before she let him go and stood up next to his bed.

At the last second, before leaving,  Blaine called out in a scratchy voice, “Thanks, mom.” She turned and smiled softly at him.

“I love you, mom” he said, looking down at his sheets. Sighing, he took one last glance at the door, but it was too late. She was gone.

-

Sebastian’s phone rang at 7 in the morning on a Monday a few weeks into the school year, and when he looked and saw the name _Blaine_ on his screen, he almost didn’t answer. Rattled but determined to hide it, Sebastian plastered on a smile to get his voice to sound normal and answered the phone.

"Knew it was only a matter of time after Kurt left before you called me, Blaine. Where do you want to meet up?" Sebastian made sure that Blaine could hear the smirk in his voice through the phone.

"Hi, Sebastian. The Lima Bean? After school today?" Blaine tried (and failed) to sound certain. Sebastian heard his hesitancy and reassured him. "I'll be there. We can talk. I've got to go to class, but I'll see you later. Unless you need something now.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, before Blaine cleared his throat and said, “No. No, I’m fine. I’ll see you then. Bye.”

Then there was a click, and the conversation was over.

~

Sebastian raised an eyebrow when Blaine quietly walked in a few minutes late. "Got your coffee for you" he said when Blaine approached the table.

Blaine looked exhausted, but appeared to be trying to hide it. He sat down with a “thank you”, slouching a little, contrary to his usual perfect posture. He was drawn into himself, and Sebastian watched with concern growing before Blaine spoke again.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Kurt called."

Of course. "I'm surprised you didn't walk in a full hour late, then. How's he doing with that midget?"

It was easy to keep up the usual banter. It was what Blaine expected, and probably was looking for, to call him up after months of not talking. Sebastian wouldn’t disappoint.

"Good, I think. They found an apartment. He had to unpack, we only talked for a minute." Blaine looked down, swirling his coffee.

"I'm still surprised he left you all alone at that awful school. Remind me why you haven't transferred back to Dalton now that the only reason you left is gone?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow sardonically. “And not even a good reason at that.”

"I can't just leave McKinley, the New Directions need me." Blaine said mechanically, like he'd rehearsed it.

"So why did you want to meet up with me? Lonely? Empty bed?”

Blaine shook his head with a little amused huff. "I just... I told Kurt to go. But now I feel alone. We're going to talk a lot, Kurt promised, but everything at McKinley reminds me of Kurt, and I'm kind of realizing that I don't have as many friends there as I thought." He laughed harshly to himself. "I know you don't care, but I couldn't really imagine saying this to any of them. I mean - they were all Kurt’s friends first, anything I say about him will reach him and I don’t want him to hear that I’m lonely, because it’ll make him upset. And-and I knew you would show up. Most of the guys I knew at Dalton have graduated now anyway.”

Blaine sighed, speaking again before Sebastian could answer. "I'm sorry, this was a mistake. I should go." He got up, to Sebastian's surprise, and walked out with an offhand “I'll text you."

He didn’t look back, and Sebastian was left alone at a table with a lukewarm coffee and a strange twist in his stomach.

~

To Blaine's surprise, Sebastian wasn't annoyed by his agitated walk out. When he arrived home and checked his phone, he already had a text from Sebastian saying, _if you want to meet up again and talk, send me a text. It’s not good to keep all that frustration_ _in, killer._

Blaine didn’t reply to it right away, but two days later he sent a text telling Sebastian to meet him at the Lima Bean after school again.

While he ordered a coffee, he scanned the room for Sebastian before he saw him at a two-top. He joined him a minute later, a little awkwardly. Blaine rubbed at the back of his neck absentmindedly before wincing at the feel of the tacky gel gathered there.

He met Sebastian’s eyes briefly before studying the logo on his coffee cup. Sebastian was - studying him, almost? Blaine knew he was waiting for him to speak first, so he took a deep breath and began.

“I’m sorry for running out on you the other day. It was rude. Thanks for agreeing to meet me again. I’m not sure that I would have.”

“Yes, you would’ve,” Sebastian cut in.

Blaine raised his eyebrows. “You think so?”

“I know so. You’d do anything for a friend, especially one you were concerned about.” Sebastian was still watching him closely.

Blaine blushed. “Is that what we are? Friends?” he asked shyly.

“I can’t think of a better word for it. Although I did think you hated me for a while.”  Sebastian tried to play it off as a joke, but his voice wavered slightly.

“Hated you? When?”

“Well, there was this one time I almost blinded you...” Sebastian trailed off, his expression caught between guilt and his usual joking smirk. It made him look sick, unsure.

Blaine’s hand twitched towards Sebastian’s. “Oh. Well, I never hated you. I couldn’t stand you for a while. I felt really angry and betrayed - but I forgave you months ago.” Blaine kept his voice calm and even as he reflected to the events of that January.

“You did?” shock flashed across Sebastian’s face. “How?”

Blaine shrugged. “It _was_ an accident. Even if you meant to mess up my boyfriend’s clothes.” There was a pause before he spoke again, quieter. “You aren’t actually a bad person, Sebastian, despite what Kurt seems to think.” At the mention of Kurt, Blaine’s face fell.

“Nice to know you can think for yourself, at least. Both of you have some reasons to hate me, but it’s only the one I never directly did anything to that does,” Sebastian mused.

“Well, you did try to get me to cheat on him with you for months.” Blaine gave a slight smile.

“Hey now.” Sebastian grinned. “You would have known if I was trying my hardest.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, it is. You already seemed like a lost cause, but you were hot and irritating Kurt became oh-so-enjoyable.”

“How do I know you really weren’t trying your hardest? And that’s mean, by the way,” Blaine said.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Well, if I had been trying my hardest, you would be sans boyfriend. I would be ignoring you. And you would be... alone.” his smile faded. “I never said that trying my hardest was good. I prefer this.”

“What, talking instead of - fucking?” Blaine blushed again, heat spreading across his cheeks.

“No. I prefer - I prefer not screwing everything and everyone up.” Sebastian gave Blaine a small, tentative smile, which Blaine returned.

 “Well, here I am. Perfectly fine.”

There was a minute of silence, both tense and anxious, on the edge.

“Hitting on me just to irritate Kurt was still mean, though.”

Sebastian huffed out a laugh. “If you’re trying to get me to apologize to him, not gonna happen.”

“No?”

“No.”

-

They continued to meet up and talk, discussing what was happening in their lives. Mostly Blaine’s, Sebastian wasn’t as forthcoming with personal details and he had professed love for the McKinley drama, claiming that there weren’t nearly enough gay guys at Dalton to provide for romantic struggles and love triangles.

Blaine also found out that Sebastian _did_ care about things. He was surprisingly politically active - likely due to his State’s Attorney father. Once, the subject of gay marriage came up, and Sebastian was surprisingly vocal in his support. When there was a pause, Blaine commented, “I didn’t take you for the marrying type.” Laughing, Sebastian said, “No. But nobody can tell me what I can’t do. And it would piss my dad off.”

-

One day, Blaine got to the coffee shop before Sebastian did. Knowing that Sebastian tried to get something different every time, Blaine asked the barista to surprise him. Two minutes later, Sebastian entered. Blaine waved him over to where he was waiting for the drinks. “You wanna grab our table? I got you something.”

“Why were you so early today?” Sebastian asked when they were both seated. “Oh, um. Kurt didn’t answer his phone when I called him today. We always talk right after school. I’m sure he was doing something important, he really likes his new job but he’s really busy, you know?” Blaine looked like he was going to uncomfortable ramble on, but Sebastian stopped him, holding up a hand. “Blaine, you don’t have to justify being here early. I was just asking. And, surprise, I don’t really want to hear about Kurt.” Blaine smiled sheepishly. “Right.”

“Anyway, how was your day?” Sebastian asked. Blaine smiled. “I joined a bunch of clubs, and I decided to run for class president.

“Oh, an aspiring politician, huh? Well, if you need me to intimidate the competition, just give me a call. Why’d you join all those clubs?”

“Ohmigosh, it’s just Brittany. And... I wanted a distraction.” Blaine said awkwardly.

Sebastian opened his mouth, and Blaine quickly said, “Don’t!”, but Sebastian ignored him, saying, “Oh, I’ll give you a distraction,” cocking an eyebrow and smirking as Blaine laughed out, “I said, _don’t!_ You’re the worst.”

Blaine smiled into his coffee. Pouting on the other side of the table, Sebastian said, “Aw, now you’ve hurt my feelings.” Blaine scoffed. “Well, I’m waiting for an apology!” Sebastian insisted.

“No way! Ugh. I’m sorry. You are not the worst.”

Sebastian straightened in his chair. “Good. What do you need a distraction from, exactly?”

“Well, Kurt’s really busy, so I figured if I was as busy as him, I wouldn’t miss him as much.”

“You meet up with me every day after school.” Sebastian said.

Nodding, Blaine continues. “And that’s good while it lasts, but what about other times? Weekends? McKinley’s homework is a joke, after I finish it, what then? I sit at home alone.”

Sebastian lowered his eyebrows, making a concerned face at Blaine. “That’s depressing.”

Shrugging, Blaine said, “Yeah.” Hesitantly, Sebastian said, “You know, we could always hang out at nights. I’m sure the boys at Scandals will survive if I’m there a couple less days a week.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll live, honestly. I only need to make it through this year anyway, and then I’ll be in New York with Kurt, just like we planned.”

Sebastian frowned. “Look, it’s really none of my business, but have you considered anything else? Any backup plans? Have you thought about the possibility that everything might not go as planned? Wasn’t it in the plan that Kurt get into NYADA? Which was a stupid plan, by the way. That school’s a joke.”

Blaine stared at him blankly for a moment. “I mean, I wanna be in New York with Kurt.”

Making a frustrated sound, Sebastian said, “Yes, but do you have a reason _besides Kurt_ to go to New York?”

“I love performing.”

“But it is what you want most out of life? Is that what you wanna do? Is there anything else you might want to do? Teach? Be a doctor?”

Blaine looked overwhelmed. Stammering, he said “I don’t - I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I just know that I wanna be with Kurt.”

Sebastian’s hand hit the table as he angrily said, “Dammit, Blaine, are you even listening, do you understand what I’m saying? You’re so dependent on Kurt you don’t even know what you want. And he’s letting you, like a leech.”

Blaine stood. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

Before he could make for the door, Sebastian grabbed his hand. “Think about what I said.” Blaine shook his head, yanking his hand out of Sebastian’s grip and stormed out as Sebastian was left sinking in his seat.

The whole car ride home, Blaine was confronted with things he’d never thought about before. Never wanted to think about.

_What if things don’t go according to plan?_

He called Kurt. The phone rang out. “Hi, this is Kurt Hummel, leave me a message and I’ll call you back.”

It made the pit in Blaine’s stomach grow. It was the third time he’d heard the message in the past three days.

“Hi, Kurt. I know you’re really busy but I want to talk to you. Can you call me sometime tonight? I miss you. Okay, um, I love you. Bye.”

 _Kurt’s not keeping his promises_ , an annoying voice in Blaine’s head said. _He said you would be fine, you’d talk every day._

 “Kurt loves me,” Blaine said to himself.

For the first time, it didn’t reassure him.

-

When he got home, there were two texts from Sebastian. One was his usual _get home safely?_ But the second one was an apology - rare from Sebastian.

_I know your relationship isn’t my business, but I care about you Blaine, and I want what’s best for you. And unlike other people, I’m not going to lie that Kurt is what’s best for you._

Blaine bit his lip, sending off an, “I’m home. I’ll meet you like normal tomorrow and you can apologize for real.”

_Deal._

-

Sebastian was seated at their table with two coffees steaming before him. He had a history textbook open, and was studying it intently, but when he heard the door chime he looked up. Upon seeing Blaine, he closed the textbook and smiled at him. As he approached, Blaine noticed that Sebastian was straining for the smile instead of the easy smirk he was usually wearing.

Blaine took his seat silently, watching Sebastian play with the lid to his coffee without meeting Blaine's eyes.

"I want to be very clear that I'm going to apologize for upsetting you, not for what I was saying," Sebastian said carefully. "I don't apologize very often, especially not for a bullshit reason, and this will be the second time you're getting one. So," Sebastian smirked, "in return, I want you to apply to at least one school not in New York. Philadelphia, Boston, LA, DC, fucking Texas for all I care. I know you don't believe me right now, but I really think it will be what's best for you. Okay?"

Blaine thought for a moment. If he just picked a school with the common app, it would only take a second. "Fine."

Sebastian nodded. "Alright then. Blaine, I'm sorry for upsetting you, I was just trying to help you see what's best for you. I'll try to refrain from doing that in the future."

Quirking an eyebrow, Blaine said, "Please don't do it again. I don't think I'll accept a third apology."

He took a sip of coffee, and over the rim he saw Sebastian watching his throat as he swallowed.

-

That night, Blaine was in bed waiting for Kurt to call him on Skype. He was supposed to call at 8, like usual. Kurt had been unable to make them in the past, but he had always told Blaine beforehand.

Blaine had Skype called Kurt once, called him on the phone twice, and texted him four times. He knew he looked clingy, but it was 8:20 and Kurt hadn't answered him once. He was starting to feel anxious. _Rachel would tell me if Kurt wasn’t home and she was worrying._ But there was the lingering _isn’t New York still dangerous? What if - no, don’t._

Blaine stared at his phone, silently willing it to go off.

It didn't. The minutes passed, the buzz from whatever TV show was on little more than background noise.

8:30. Blaine slumped back into the pillows. He sent another text to Kurt: _starting to worry about you. are you ok? please answer xoxo._

A couple minutes later a text from Kurt came in: _Rachel and I are doing s/t tonight. sorry I forgot to tell you earlier!_

Blaine read the text and rolled over, buried his face in his pillow.

'Doing something.' _But what?_

 _Something more important than you,_ that nagging voice in his head said.

Blaine knew he should turn the lights off, but couldn't find the energy to get up. He turned his face to the side to find his pillow damp.

He touched his face in bewilderment to feel wet cheeks. He was _crying._ And once he realized, he couldn't stop.

He pressed his face back into his pillow and cried himself to sleep.

_You're losing Kurt._

-

He woke up with his lights off - his parents must have come in - his computer open and off - dead - and gross, dried tears stuck to his face.

He felt utterly pathetic. There was something else in the pit of his stomach, but he mostly felt pathetic. And sad.

And he had school.

And he was already late.

After managing to get out of bed, he tried not to think as he got in the shower.

_Kurt forgot about you. He's leaving you behind. He's breaking his promises._

Blaine drowned the thoughts in shampoo.

He got to school in the end of second period - astronomy, which he shared with Sam.

When he took his seat, he was greeted with a concerned look from Sam. "Dude, you look. wiped. Are you okay? Why were you late? You're never late. Dude. This isn't pressure from the campaign, right? Because we've got that in the bag."

Blaine shook his head. "I don't wanna talk about it." Sam blinked, then lowered his voice. "Is it about Kurt? Are you guys okay? You’ve been - kinda weird lately."

Blaine's fingers clenched around the edge of his desk, and he tried to keep his voice from coming out strangled when he said, "I said - I don't want to talk about it, Sam."

"Whatever you say, man." And Sam left it at that, causing Blaine to let out an internal sigh of relief.

-

Blaine could barely pay attention in his classes that day. He felt - utterly lost. By the time he got to glee practice, he was exhausted. Silently, he took a seat in the back, not speaking to anyone. He ignored the ever-present bickering over solos (today between Brittany and Tina). Content to just sit there for an hour, he studied his fingernails, before he realized that Brittany was talking to him.

“Blaine Warbler, are you spying on my campaign? This is a new low, I can’t believe you would do that.”

Blaine silently groaned, looking up at Brittany standing before him. “Brittany, we’re in glee right now,” he said slowly.

“Well, I think you’re a spy. You’re just sitting there and you’re my competition. This is outrageous I feel it’s an unfair advantage to you.”

Blaine looked around the room helplessly, only to have everyone be busy with something else. Even Sam was occupied talking to Marley.

“Brittany, I can assure you that I am not spying on your campaign. I’m here for glee club, just like every other meeting I’ve been at for the past year.”

“I think you should leave,” Brittany insisted.

“Brittany!” Blaine exclaimed too loudly, and suddenly everyone was looking at him.

“You know what, fine. I’ll see you guys later.” Blaine gathered his things and walked out, almost running into Mr. Schue, who let out a confused, “Blaine? What’s wrong? Where are you going? It’s time for glee!” to which Blaine responded in a bitter tone, “Not today, Mr. Schue. Have it without me. You could also inform Brittany that I am not spying on her,”

Blaine turned on his heel without another word. He walked to his car with slumped shoulders, driving to the Lima Bean, caught somewhere between angry and anguished. He’d overreacted. Brittany didn’t deserve that, she didn’t know any better.

Blaine didn’t know what to do. He felt completely overwhelmed, so when he pulled into the Lima Bean parking lot almost an hour early, he leaned his head against the steering wheel for a minute before deciding to call Kurt.

His stomach was in knots as he listened to the dial tone.

It felt like it would never stop ringing. He’d become all too familiar with this, followed by Kurt’s answering machine. He’d sometimes stopped leaving messages. Based on the fact that Kurt hadn’t asked why, it sent a nasty feeling through him that Kurt didn’t even listen to them.

But this time, Kurt picked up. “Hello?”

Blaine’s voice caught in relief. “Hi, hi Kurt! Sorry for calling you earlier than usual. I didn’t go to glee today.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” Kurt asked. Blaine clutched the phone tightly to his ear.

“I wasn’t - I’m not having a good day,” Blaine admitted dejectedly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey.” Kurt said. Blaine waited for the “why?” because maybe then he could tell Kurt how he felt (abandoned, alone), but it never came.

When Kurt spoke suddenly a few seconds later, he sounded ecstatic. His voice was high, and Blaine could almost see him wiggling around on the other line. “Oh my gosh, you’ll never guess what happened last night. Rachel and I kind of, broke into, Vogue.com. We were going to dress Rachel up and do a music video, but we got caught by Isabelle! You won’t believe what happened next: she thought it was a great idea! We were up so late shooting it, it was great.”

Blaine could hear the excitement in Kurt’s voice, but he could barely even breathe as he sunk low in his seat. “That’s - that’s awesome,” he managed to get out.

“I know, right? And apparently Anna Wintour saw it and loved it. I’m going places!” Kurt squeaked.

 _Places without me._  “I’m so happy for you, Kurt. I’m so proud of you, I always knew you were meant for something great.” _But I thought it would be with me_.

Blaine tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible. He was happy for Kurt, but even when talking to him on the phone, Blaine felt completely abandoned.

Suddenly, Kurt cut off, “Oh my god, Miss Argent is on the other line. She said that she has some great gossip for me. We’ll talk later, Blaine.”

“Oh. Alright. I love -” _click -_ dial tone. Kurt had hung up on him.

Blaine took his phone from his ear and looked at it. He set it in a cupholder and looked up at the ceiling of his car, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands.

The passenger door opened, startling Blaine. He snapped his head over to see Sebastian sitting there, looking at him. “What?” he mouthed, smirking, at Blaine’s stricken look.

“Was that Kurt?” Sebastian asked. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Blaine said.

Sebastian studied him for a moment. “You look like shit,” he remarked. Making a face, Blaine turned from his, saying in a low voice, “Gee, thanks.”

“Shut up. You look like you’ve had an awful day and your boyfriend just hung up on you. Do you want to go inside or go home?”

Blaine blinked up at Sebastian. Sighing, Sebastian started again. “Switch. I’ll drive, we’re going to your house.”

Blaine mutely complied, climbing into his passenger seat while Sebastian adjusted his seat and mirrors. “Jesus, you’re so short, I have to move all of these like a mile.”

Blaine huffed, but didn’t speak.

The car ride was quick, in comfortable silence.

When they neared Blaine’s house, Blaine saw his mom’s car in the driveway. “Oh, shit. It’s family dinner night,” he murmured.

“Well, we can go up to your room. I’ve never seen it, though I must admit I thought my first time seeing it would be under slightly different circumstances,” Sebastian smirked.

Shooting a warning look at Sebastian, Blaine said, “Do not even _hint_ at that around my mom. Hopefully I’ll just be able to say hi and leave.”

Blaine bit his lip as he opened the door. He put on a bright voice. “Hey, mom! I’m home. I’m going up to my room!”

“Okay!” she called back.

Blaine escorted Sebastian up the stairs to his room. “It’s kind of a mess.”

He picked up a few things from before until he saw his computer still dead and open from the night before, at which he stilled, shoulders sagging.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Sebastian asked from where he was leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s complicated,” Blaine hedged.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Is it? I can already guess: Kurt is ignoring you.”

Blaine sat on the edge of the bed, and Sebastian took a seat in the armchair next to the bed.

“He’s just really busy,” Blaine said weakly.

Sebastian said nothing. “Things aren’t working out exactly like we planned, but that’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Blaine. You look miserable. Your boyfriend hung up on you, and you’re defending him with words you don’t even believe.”

“We love each other.”

“Is that enough? Does that make up for the fact that you’re left behind?” Sebastian was leaning forward, his hand coming to rest softly on Blaine’s knee.

“Was I supposed to make him stay?”

“No. He was supposed to let you go.”

Suddenly Sebastian was next to him on the bed. He was close. Too close.

“What-” Blaine said, but Sebastian cut him off, started kissing his neck. Blaine didn’t move. Sebastian kissed his mouth hard, taking over and clearing his mind and

_tap, tap, tap_

Blaine jerked awake and hit his head hard. He was disconcerted, looking around as he wiped drool from the corner of his mouth and held a hand to his head where he’d just bumped it.

He looked to his left to see Sebastian tapping on his window.

Dread and panic filled him as he remembered his dream (lips, soft and warm, insistent and pressing) and rolled the window down.

“Taking a nap, killer?” Sebastian teased, laughing.

Blaine opened his mouth before managing to get out, “I can’t today. I need to go. Sorry. Bye.”

Blaine quickly rolled up the window, trying to look apologetic. He drove away (too fast, but he was running, running away).

It was just a dream. So why did it seem so important?

-

When Blaine got home, he trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, climbed into bed, and buried himself in his covers.

 _He had a dream where he let Sebastian kiss him._ And the things Sebastian was saying weren’t from Sebastian’s head, they were from his own. Did that mean he believed them?

Kurt had been promising him for months that they would be okay. That they would be just as close, that it would just be one year, that Blaine would join him.

Blaine remembered what Sebastian said. _Did_ he have a reason besides Kurt to go to New York? What if he wanted to go somewhere else? Would he and Kurt still be okay?

Something was telling him they wouldn’t be, and it set a gnawing feeling in his stomach.

Blaine only realized how long he had been laying there when his mother called him down for dinner.

-

It was Thursday night, and that meant family dinner. For a long time, they had been Saturdays, but Blaine’s father’s frequent weekend trips pushed them to a weeknight.

Most dinners were filled with mindless chatter, such as what Blaine’s parents were doing at work. Occasionally they asked about Blaine’s grades, or his classes, or if the kids at school were being nice (their code phrase for if he was being bullied).

They infrequently asked about Kurt, and he infrequently told them about him.

Despite this, Blaine liked family dinners most of the time, because they reminded him of their family before he came out.

Most family dinners, Blaine was lively and talkative. However, this Thursday was different. He was quiet, shifting his food around on his plate tensely.

His parents exchanged a look across the table. His mother took a sip of her wine before asking, “How was school today?”

“Fine,” Blaine answered shortly. Biting her lip, his mother started again. “And the kids at McKinley are nice?”

He nodded. “They’re fine.”

She set down her fork, unsettled. Blaine thought she would leave it at that.

There was a tense minute of silence in which Blaine was planning an excuse to leave the table early when Blaine’s father cleared his throat and asked, “How are your college applications coming?”

Blaine shrugged. “They’re fine. I’m done with a lot.”

Blaine’s mom reached across the table and took his hand. “Blaine, baby, are you okay? Are you and Kurt okay?”

He stared at her in bewilderment. “I said I’m fine.”

“Something must be wrong, honey, you’re never this quiet. Please tell us what’s wrong,” she said.

“It’s a lot of things.”

“Well, why don’t you tell us what they are?”

“Because you don’t want to hear it,” Blaine said dully. His mother’s eyes widened. “Of course we do! We want to know what’s making you upset!”

Blaine shot her a confused look. “You’ve asked me about Kurt twice at family dinners. Both were when I broke curfew. You don’t want to hear it.”

“Blaine, if you’re feeling bad and we can help, we want to. It’s your last year before - before you leave us. I don’t want any of us to have regrets,” she paused for a moment. “I already have some. I regret distancing myself from you, because I wasn’t sure how to treat you after you came out. I regret staying out of your business even after you got hurt - _twice -_ I regret not asking to meet Kurt as soon as you told us you had a boyfriend.”

Blaine stared at her in shock. “Uh-” Blaine’s father sighed. “I regret thinking that you being gay was just a phase. I _don’t_ regret building the car, but I do regret the reason. I regret not making you feel as loved as you should have been, even though you always have been.”

“I don’t understand,” Blaine said softly, wide-eyed and staring between the two.

His mother spoke again. “Blaine, when you came out to us, we weren’t sure what to do. And we really, really messed up. We decided to stay out of your business, but when that became obvious it wasn’t working, we didn’t try to get close to you again. We want to, now. We love you so much. We want to fix everything this year, before you leave.”

Blaine started to cry, holding a shaky hand over his face. “I thought” - he sobbed - “I thought I wasn’t good enough. I thought you were ashamed.”

Blaine’s mother clapped a hand to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. However, before she could speak, Blaine’s father did, and his voice was thick, his eyes bright and wet. Offhandedly, Blaine thought of the number of times he had seen his father cry. He could count them on one hand.

“Blaine, _never._ We’ve always been proud of you, how brave you are, how talented and smart. You should be ashamed of _us._ ”

Blaine shook his head. “No, no.”

There was a screech as Blaine’s mom’s chair was pushed out and she rushed to his side to throw her arms around him. “I love you, Blaine.”

“I love you too, mom.”

-

Blaine was in a better mood the next day, he apologized to Brittany for getting so angry, but explained that he was not spying on her.

The only thing that made him worried was meeting up with Sebastian. That morning Sebastian had sent _are we still meeting up today, or can you not? i’d like an explanation, because i’m pretty sure i didn’t do anything wrong._

Blaine had replied with a _yes_ and ignored Sebastian’s second text of _I hope that’s a yes to both._

Blaine was early again, sitting at their table waiting. He was twitchy, fidgeting and tapping his ankle with his finger. 

He was so occupied with himself that he didn’t notice Sebastian until he plopped down in a seat across from him, at which point he started, staring at Sebastian in horror for a second.

“Whoa, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Blaine nodded, adrenaline coursing through him, making his limbs shake. He was sweating.

Sebastian gave him a weird look. “Okay, what is up with you? Did you and Kurt break up?”

“No.” Blaine said shortly, and then, against his will, continued, “Do you think it’s cheating if it was only a dream?”

Sebastian looked confused for a second, and his face rapidly changed to dawning understanding. “Oh my fucking god. You had a dream about me.”

“I didn’t say it was about you!”

“Of course it was about me,” Sebastian said self-assuredly. It sent a shiver down Blaine’s spine.

“And no. It’s not cheating. It’s just a dream. One time I had a sex dream about a girl. That doesn’t mean I’ll have sex with an actual girl. I am definitely not averse to your dream, however.”

“Yeah, well, I am.” Blaine snapped.

“Ouch.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”

“Fine.” Sebastian waved it off, but he still had a slightly smug look on his face.

“Um...” Blaine started softly. “I think my parents and I started to make up last night.”

Sebastian’s face was unreadable. “What happened?”

“They apologized for everything they’d messed up since I came out. I mean... I’m still kind of mad at them. But I feel like we could be okay. We were pretty close before,” Blaine studied his hands, folded on the table.

There was a long pause before Sebastian spoke. “That’s really, really great, Blaine.” It was quiet, subdued. It seemed to come from a place of sadness, but there was no trace of jealousy.

“I wish you could have that too.”

“I’m not even sure that I could forgive them,” Sebastian admitted. “I’m not like you, Blaine. I hold a grudge, and I don’t see my parents doing a 180 on the fact that I’m disgusting.”

“You know you’re not, right?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian looked up at him, a slight smile on his face. “Yeah. I know.”

-

They continued to talk and meet up, discussing what was happening. Blaine didn't tell Kurt that he was doing it.

Not that he talked to Kurt that much anymore.

Sebastian seemed to make more time for Blaine than Kurt did, and he was Captain of the Warblers and lacrosse team. He knew Kurt was busy and happy working at Vogue.com, but he'd been feeling more and more abandoned by Kurt as time passed. When Kurt did have time to talk, he talked about himself. And Blaine wanted to hear about Kurt's life, but the problem was... there was no room for him there.

He hoped that winning the election would show him that Kurt really did listen and have room for Blaine in his life. Because if he didn't, Blaine wasn't sure what he would do.

-

The call went to voicemail after 2 1/2 rings. Blaine didn't leave a message.

He left his own victory party an hour early, saying Kurt had promised him a Skype date.

He pulled into his driveway at 9:30. His parents were out. He mechanically got ready for bed, his ringer on loud in case Kurt called back.

His phone rang at 10, and Blaine lunged for it, answering without looking at who it was with a breathy "Hello?"

" _Hey, Blaine!"_

It was Sebastian. Blaine's heart plummeted, and he swallowed hard, listening as Sebastian congratulated him and insulted McKinley in the same sentence, and didn't realize he was crying until he sniffed and Sebastian stopped talking.

" _...Blaine?"_ Sebastian asked hesitantly. Blaine sat down on the edge of his bed.

Blaine said nothing. Then, in a slightly panicked voice, Sebastian asked, “Blaine, where are you?”

“I’m at home,” Blaine said thickly. “Can you come over?”

Silence. “Of course I can. I’ll be there soon. Don’t do anything stupid.”

It took 20 minutes for Sebastian to get there, and he came right up to Blaine’s room. He opened the door hard and heard it ricochet off of Blaine’s door stop with a _twang_.

He rushed to Blaine’s side, “What happened?” And it was weird, how concerned he sounded for Blaine. _He came because you sounded vulnerable._

"I don't - I don't think Kurt loves me anymore" he managed to say, before he started to really cry, shoulders shaking. Blaine expected a quip, a joke, but instead there was a moment of silence, and then Sebastian asked "Why's that?"

Blaine ran his hand through his hair, breaking the hold of the gel, and took in a shuddery breath.

"It's just - he's always busy at work and he's been canceling Skype dates and I haven't had an honest to god conversation with him in more than a week. And he promised - he promised me that we'd be okay but we're _not_. And I told him today was the election and I've texted him and called him and he _ignored my call_ , Sebastian, and why would he do that if he still loved me? Is it hard to just text me or tell me he's too busy to talk? You remembered! _You_ called me, and he didn’t?! My - my boyfriend who’s supposed to be my _soulmate_?" Blaine’s voice was different than usual, not filled with charm. It sounded hopeless, disparaging. Blaine wiped at his eyes with his wrist, not really expecting a response.

"He doesn't deserve you." Sebastian answered suddenly. It wasn't filled with his usual snark, but sincerity.

Blaine almost managed to roll his eyes. "You're just saying that because-" but Sebastian cut him off. "No, I'm not. I've been watching you two for a year now, and he doesn't deserve you. I don't either, Blaine, but you deserve more than him."

"I don't know how to live without him."

"That's the _problem,_ Blaine.”

“No, I _need_ him!”

Sebastian stared at Blaine in astonishment. “You sound like a fucking drug addict. He’s a person, Blaine, and so are you! And you deserve more than this! You just became president of your school, you and your parents are fixing things, and all you can think about is your stupid, idiotic boyfriend who can’t even see what he’s doing to you, how much he’s fucking up because he’s fucking obsessed with himself and doesn’t give a second thought to how you’re still stuck here.” Sebastian was breathing hard, and his face was dark, angry.

Blaine started to cry again. In a thin, watery voice, Blaine managed to say, “Get out.”

“Blaine-” Sebastian tried.

Blaine sounded almost hysterical when he spoke again. “I said get out! I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you. Kurt and I were _fine_ before I started talking to you, and just - leave me alone!”

Sebastian’s face fell. “You know what? Fine. Go fuck yourself,” and it sounded like something he would say but his voice was all wrong, and he still looked sad and nothing was right, but nothing more was said as he walked out and Blaine was left alone again, sobbing into his hands.

-

Blaine stopped talking to Sebastian, and Sebastian stopped talking to Blaine.

That didn’t mean that Blaine wasn’t thinking about what Sebastian said, however. As the days passed and he thought (obsessed) Sebastian’s words, how he felt, he started to be more honest with himself. For a few days, he was full of despair. He listened to a lot of angsty music. But as more and more time passed, he found himself getting angry. It usually ended quickly, but it was there, and it was new.

One of these times, Blaine called Kurt.

“Kurt. Please answer your phone. I just - we need to talk. Can we Skype tonight at 8? Text me back."

Blaine hung up, and it left him with a bad taste in his mouth and nerves roiling in his stomach.

A few hours later, Kurt texted back a _sure,_ like they didn’t have one (technically) scheduled anyway.

When 8 o'clock rolled around, Blaine felt very nervous. His palms were sweating and he felt vaguely like he was going to throw up.

Part of it was because he wasn’t sure Kurt wouldn’t cancel at the last minute, part of it because he finally had to tell Kurt what was wrong. He had always thought Kurt would notice and fix it, and make it better, but he never did.

Absentmindedly, he wondered how long he would have waited if Sebastian hadn’t confronted him about it. If he would have ever told Kurt how he was feeling. He wondered what he would have done with nobody to talk to about it in the first place.

At 8:05, Kurt called him. Blaine tried to keep a neutral look on his face as he answered.

Kurt actually looked concerned. “You sounded weird in your message, is everything okay?” he asked.

“Um... no.” Blaine was trying to summon some anger, but it wasn’t coming. Blaine wasn’t sure he could do this without being mad.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked. “Is it your parents?” and that was what set it off.

He had told Kurt, in a message full of emotion, that he had finally made up with his parents, that he thought they would be good, and even said that they wanted to meet Kurt. Apparently Kurt didn’t listen - and offhandedly, Blaine wondered again if Kurt listened to any of them. His voicemail was never full - could he have just deleted them without listening?

Blaine’s face hardened. “No, Kurt. It’s you.”

“What?” Kurt looked taken aback. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about, Blaine.”

“Well, then let’s start. First of all, you don’t know that my parents and I made up _three weeks ago_. I called you and told you in a message that you apparently did not listen to, even though in it I said that they wanted to see you and apologize to you as well. We never talk, Kurt, and when we do, it’s always about you!You’re always too busy with Rachel or, or Isabelle, you never have time for me! You didn’t call to congratulate me when I won class president, you ignored my own calls to you, you’ve stood me up on skype dates and you’re still sitting here acting like you’ve done nothing wrong! Newsflash: I’m not a dog, and I’m tired of following you around and begging for attention!”

Blaine took a heaving breath as Kurt’s face became defensive and angry.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kurt asked, and Blaine’s eyebrows rose.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I finally get out of Lima and I’m doing something great with my life, something I’ve always wanted to do, and you accuse me of ignoring you when I’m busy with work. Are you really that fucking selfish, or are you just jealous?” Kurt seemed livid.

Blaine almost laughed. “Selfish? For wanting to talk to my boyfriend I’ve planned to spend my life with? We have barely talked in the past _month,_ Kurt, and it has almost _always_ been about you. And am I jealous? Yes! I want to be out of here! Is that why I’m mad at you? No, it’s not.”

Suddenly Kurt interjected with, “Are you cheating on me?”

Blaine’s mouth hung open in astonishment.

“Have you? You told me you met up with Sebastian, and I had misgivings, but I let you do it anyway! You’ve been fucking him, haven’t you? That bastard waited until I was gone to take you from me.”

“Shut up! I am not _cheating_ on you. And _do not_ talk about him like that.”

“How am I supposed to believe you?” Kurt scoffed.

“Because you, I don’t know, love and trust me? Do you? You haven’t told me in weeks, even when I’ve told you. And what is this bullshit with _letting_ me see him? I can see whoever I damn well want.”

Kurt looked shocked. “You are unbelievable.”

“ _You’re_ not listening! I’m telling you these things because I want to fix what’s wrong!”

“Well, you can start by apologizing to me.”

Blaine froze. “What?”

“You set up a skype date so you can be a dick and yell at me because you’re unhappy that I’m finally happy?”

“Don’t twist my words like that,” Blaine said softly, hurt.

“And you’re acting like I’m the bad guy.”

Blaine shook his head hopelessly. “I love you more than anything, Kurt, I hope you know that. I’m sorry. Good night.” He shut his computer, ending the call.

He stared at his wall for a moment before studying his hands in his lap. “I loved you more than anything,” he whispered to himself, and waited for the tears to come, but they never did.

-

He and Kurt didn't try to talk after that. Combined with the fact that he still wasn't talking to Sebastian, Blaine was feeling very lonely.

He hadn't realized that he didn't have any close friends in glee club until Kurt wasn't there anymore. He had Sam now, but Sam had known Kurt, _lived_ with him, and Blaine wasn't sure he could tell Sam everything he was feeling right then.

Blaine had been quiet in rehearsal or the past few glee club meetings, and Sam and Mr. Schue were starting to notice.

That day, Mr. Schue held him after glee. "Blaine, you've been acting differently for a little while now. Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah." Blaine lied. "I'm just really tired. Senior year and everything."

"Oh! Well, that's good. Make sure you get some sleep so you can actually participate next rehearsal, though. You’re one of our best guys, we really need you!"

"Right. Of course." Blaine said, and refrained from rolling his eyes as he walked out. _What an idiot._

To Blaine's surprise, Sam was waiting outside. "Bullshit."

"...I'm sorry?"

"You're not just tired, I've seen you tired, and you still talk in glee, especially when we're actually discussing competitions. What's really wrong, dude? We’re tight now, you can tell me.”

Blaine bit his lip, debating.

“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted.

“Dude, if it’s about Kurt, I swear I won’t tell him. Bros have to keep each others’ secrets, right?”

“Right.” Blaine looked around anxiously.

“Okay... you were right, it is Kurt. Um. We’ve been drifting farther and farther apart, and I couldn’t - can’t fix it. When I confronted him about it the other night, he got really, really mad at me. He’s never been like that to me.”

“Dude, that’s rough.”

“And I don’t know how to fix us if he won’t listen. I think I have to... break up with him.” Blaine finished quietly.

“Oh my god. I was so sure you guys were going to be together forever.”

Blaine let out a little humorless laugh. “Yeah. Me too.”

-

The next day, Blaine sends a text to Kurt that says, _Can we talk on skype tonight?_

Kurt sends back a simple _fine._

It was Friday, and homecoming was the next day. Blaine wanted it done before the dance.

Blaine spent the day a jittery mess, but brushed off any questions about his wellbeing. In a way it seemed surreal. For almost two years, when he pictured his life, Kurt was always with him.

When he looked ahead now, it was blank.

The day rushed by, until Blaine was sitting in front of his computer at 7:59.

This time Kurt was prompt, calling right at 8.

There were a few seconds of silence, studying each others’ appearances.

“You’re not wearing a bowtie,” Kurt finally said, and Blaine touched his neck.

“Yeah. I haven’t been wearing them lately.”

A beat, and then Kurt said, “Can we cut the crap?”

Blaine almost breathed a sigh of relief.

“I honestly don’t know what’s up with you. Are you calling to apologize”?

Blaine shook his head, “No.”

“Then what?”

“Kurt - you can’t guess?”

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. “No. Spit it out.”

“Kurt. I’m calling - I’m calling to break up with you.”

Kurt froze. “What?”

“I’m breaking up with you.,” Blaine repeated, and fuck, he was starting to cry.

“I don’t understand.” Kurt said. His voice was small.

Struggling to keep eye contact with Kurt on the screen, Blaine said, “Did you listen to what I was saying? No, and that’s part of the problem. Maybe - maybe this will be good for us -”

“No,” Kurt interrupted. “You don’t get to decide this. We were fine.”

“No, _you_ were fine. I wasn’t. I’m still not. And you haven’t been there for me.”

“I was right about Sebastian, wasn’t I?” Kurt insisted.

Blaine made a frustrated noise. “This isn’t about Sebastian, Kurt, it’s only about us.”

“He got you to do this. You’re going to regret it.”

“Kurt, if you really want to go there, he’s been there for me and you haven’t. I defended you for months until I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. You did this to us, not me,” Blaine said, getting angry.

Kurt’s voice was venomous, yet underneath Blaine could hear the desperation and sadness under it when he said, “Why are you saying these things?”

“Because I need you to know _why_ I’m doing this, Kurt. Even a month ago I thought we were going to be together forever.”

“Well, we’re not if you break up with me!” Kurt said hysterically.

Blaine shook his head slowly, wiping tears from his face. “I was right in the spring. We don’t work like this - I need you too much, Kurt.”

“Then why-”

“Because I can’t live like that! I can’t spend my life revolving around someone, especially when that someone breaks all of their promises and ignored me and can’t even trust me with my friends!” Blaine tried to explain.

But Kurt wasn’t listening. “If what you really want is to break up, fine. But don’t lie to me. I know this is because of Sebastian, and at least when he drops you like some worthless whore you’ll know you’ve made a mistake. And I will never take you back.”

Blaine physically recoiled. He had never heard Kurt speak like that. Shakily, he spoke one more time. “If that’s how you’ll treat me, then fine. I have nothing more to say.”

He stared at Kurt, wishing, almost pleading with all his heart for Kurt to drop that mask of hate and be willing to talk, but he just blinked, said, “Goodbye, Blaine,” and ended the call.

Faced with the blank skype screen and Kurt’s words ringing in his ears, Blaine let himself break down.

-

Blaine didn’t really talk to anyone on Saturday. He stayed in his room and brushed off his parents, saying he was feeling a little under the weather.

He debated whether or not to even go to homecoming before finally deciding he would go for at least a little while after some prodding by Sam via text message.

It felt weird, to not have a boutonniere showing that he was Kurt’s. He felt more alone than ever as he got ready by himself, no feeling of excitement to see Kurt. He still had the lingering dread of every school dance, but he capped it as he was dropped off by his mom, who was even more jittery than he.

“Now, you’re sure you have a ride home? Your father and I will be away tonight but we can be back in under an hour if you need -”

“Mom,” he interrupted, smiling slightly. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be safe.”

“Promise?” she asked, lip wobbling dangerously.

“Promise,” he answered, and leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

“I love you, Blaine.”

“I love you too.”

-

The dance was already well-begun when he entered. He quickly found Sam, who seemed ecstatic that he could come.

“Dude,” he said, slinging an arm around Blaine’s shoulder. “Stay away from the punch,” he warned. Humoring Sam, Blaine nodded. Spiked, then.

Blaine did _not_ stay away from the punch _. It would probably feel good to let loose,_ he figured. _Just not think for a little while._

Except he couldn’t stop thinking. Especially about Kurt. The gym brought back too many memories. He teared up thinking of Kurt winning prom queen, how strong he’d seemed, how Blaine had admired him.

He walked into the hallway to clear his head.

As he blindly walked forward, rubbing his eyes, he got an urge.

An urge to call Sebastian.

Blaine shrugged. He couldn’t think of a reason to _not_ call Sebastian. And he actually did not have a ride home. Sebastian would probably give him one.

Sebastian picked up after two rings. “Blaine?” he said, confused.

“I broke up with Kurt,” came out of his mouth first. Maybe he was drunker than he thought.

“...Are you drunk?”

“I’m at homecoming. There’s punch. It’s...punchy.” Blaine started giggling a little.

“Okay, but why are you calling me?” Sebastian’s voice was weird. Blaine couldn’t figure out why.

“Because I need a ride home.”

There was a long pause. “Blaine, I’m at Dalton. Don’t you have someone else?”

Blaine shook his head. “I don’t have anyone. All alone.”

“All right. But I want you to go back inside while I’m on my way. I’ll call you when I’m there.”

“Okay!”

-

The car ride was quiet. Blaine hummed along to the radio as he started out the window. “Thank you for picking me up!” Blaine said in the middle of it. “I forgot my manners.”

“You’re welcome.”

When they got to Blaine’s house it was silent and dark, so Sebastian decided to walk Blaine in. He guided Blaine up to where he said his room was and stood in the doorway as he watched Blaine struggle to get out of his shoes, before realizing that it would be easier if he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

When Blaine started trying to get his jacket off, Sebastian sighed and went up to help him. When that was done and Blaine seemed safe in his home, Sebastian went to leave. But before he could, Blaine took hold of his arm, stopping him.

“Don’t go,” Blaine implored, and against his better judgement, Sebastian listened.

“Sit with me,” Blaine said, patting the bed. Sebastian sat next to Blaine, hyper aware of where they were and how close together they were.

And Blaine was getting closer, and looking up at Sebastian with wide, hazy eyes.

Sebastian’s mind went blank as Blaine started leaning up to him. There was a hand on his thigh, hot through the denim, and then Blaine kissed Sebastian. It was tentative at first, but as Blaine prepared to kiss him harder, Sebastian pulled away.

Blaine blinked, confused, as Sebastian stood up, putting space between them.

“Blaine, we can’t,” Sebastian said softly.

Blaine stared at Sebastian as his face started to crumple. He put his face in his hands and started to cry. “Why doesn’t anyone want me?”

“Blaine, don’t.”

“You don’t, and Kurt doesn’t -”

“No. We can’t because you’re drunk, and you just broke up with Kurt, the guy you thought was the love of your life, and you’re heartbroken. I don’t want to be a rebound, you wouldn’t do this sober, you would regret it sober, and I can’t do that to you. I’m not letting you make a huge mistake.”

Blaine had stopped crying suddenly, and was looking at Sebastian with new eyes. “Oh. I thought you just wanted to fuck me.”

Sebastian huffed. He wasn’t sure if it was laughter or if he was actually affronted. “I do wanna fuck you,” he said, eyes flashing. “But I also care about you, which is why I’m not going to right now.”

Blaine perked up. “I care about you too, Seb.”

A beat, and then Blaine said, “I’m tired.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“No,” Blaine protested. “Sleep with me.”

“Blaine-”

“Just sleep,” Blaine said, unbuttoning his shirt until he was left in a tank top.

After an internal debate, Sebastian agreed.

He awkwardly climbed into Blaine’s bed, and tried to make himself feel better with a quip as Blaine settled, lying in front of him.

“You know, this isn’t what I thought I’d be doing the first time I was in your bed,” he said.

Blaine laughed and murmured, “Me neither.” He cuddled back against Sebastian, and Sebastian hardly let himself breathe.

And despite the fact that he thought he’d never fall asleep like that, Sebastian fell asleep rather quickly, pressed close against Blaine’s back.

-

Blaine fought waking up, content to snuggle into the warmth around him - “fuck.” Blaine’s eyes shot open as he took in his surroundings.

Sebastian, dressed, asleep in his bed. his own body, also dressed, in his bed. Okay. He did not panic as memories of the night before came back.

He did blush and then wince. He’d made a fool of himself.

He looked down at Sebastian. His hair was rumpled, mouth open and breathing even.

As Blaine watched, he started to stir. A minute later he was awake, blinking blearily at Blaine as he sat up.

“Good morning,” Sebastian said scratchily, and then cleared his throat.

“Morning,” Blaine answered softly, still embarrassed.

“Thank you for taking care of me last night, even - especially when I was acting like an idiot. You were very honorable.”

Sebastian flushed. “You know me. I’m practically Lancelot.”

There was a pleasant/awkward silence before Sebastian said, “Before we pretend last night never happened, can we talk about it?”

Blaine sighed. “It’s probably for the best.”

“First of all: you broke up with Kurt? When? Why?”

“Yes... Friday. Because you were right, and we had some conversations and it just wasn’t working out.”

“Okay. You also _kissed_ me last night.”

Blaine wrapped his arms around himself. “I want to - feel _wanted_ , I guess. And I wanted to forget. I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Right,” Sebastian said, despite the hollow feeling in his chest.

“Okay, I don’t know if you’re interested in kissing me sober, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t want to be your rebound,” he said, recovering.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know anything.”

“Alright, well until you do know, I think you should stay single. And in addition to that, I wouldn’t hook up with anyone, although if you think you want to, give me a call.”

Blaine said nothing for a moment, then, “If the circumstances were different, would you have kissed me back?”

Sebastian gave a soft, genuine smile. “You’ll have to find out.”

-

Blaine showed up to school Monday feeling nervous. People had definitely heard about his and Kurt’s breakup and he wasn’t sure how they were going to react.

It felt like a pretty normal day for a while, but he still decided to have lunch outside even though it was kind of rainy. He didn’t want to risk exile from the glee table.

Finally, he tentatively walked into the choir room.

The room didn’t quiet, not everybody turned to look at him, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he took his seat.

“Dude, is it true that you broke up with Kurt?” Sam asked.

Blaine flinched. “Yes.”

“Kurt told me. I mean... I figured you were going to, but it was still weird, you know?”

Blaine nodded jerkily. “What did he say?”

Suddenly, Sam wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I mean, you had just broken up, I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Sam hedged.

Blaine’s stomach turned. This would be messy, then.

“Sam, I need to know what he was saying.”

“Just. He thought you were making something out of nothing. And,” Sam shifted uncomfortably, “that he thought you might’ve been cheating on him.”

Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit,” he said lowly.

“First of all, that’s not true -”

“I know,” Sam interrupted.

“Second-” that time Blaine was interrupted by Mr. Schue starting glee club.

“Alright! Sectionals is coming up, and I want you to remember that we’re still taking song suggestions!”

Blaine raised his hand. “I have one, Mr. Schue.”

After the initial surprise that he was talking in glee again, everyone was accepting of Blaine’s suggestions.

Blaine was very happy nobody else brought up Kurt through that, until -

“Blaine Warbler, I have been informed that you are now flying without Kurt.”

Fuck. Of course it was Brittany.

“Brit, I really don’t want to talk about that right now,” Blaine said politely.

“Wait, you and Kurt broke up?” Artie asked, and he heard the new kid Ryder ask Marley in a whisper, “Wait, who’s Kurt?”

“Yes, Kurt and I broke up. Now can we please talk about Sectionals?” Blaine shot a pleading look to Mr. Schue, who, for once, took control and steered them back on topic.

But Blaine could still feel their eyes and hear the whispers, and when Kitty propositioned him and then told him that he should, “take another look at Jesus, but make sure it’s not a gay look, because then you’re _definitely_ going to hell,” Blaine was left confused and annoyed. _And_ late for his coffee with Sebastian.

Before he had left Sunday morning, Sebastian asked Blaine if he wanted to start meeting again, and Blaine agreed.

Sebastian probably thought Blaine was standing him up.

Blaine rushed to the Lima Bean, panting a little as he walked in, knowing his clothes were probably askew. He didn’t spare a glance down to check, instead scanning the room for Sebastian, heart in his stomach.

Their table was empty and Blaine’s face fell. Sebastian had probably left, probably would never talk to Blaine again. Blaine felt a lump in his throat form as he turned to leave, and then he bumped into someone’s chest.

He looked up to them, apologies already spilling out of his mouth when he froze.

It was Sebastian, and he had a wry smile on his face. He held up his phone, which showed Blaine’s answer to his _where are you?_ text. _i just got held up by a religious cheerleader propositioning me, will be late._

“You think I wouldn’t wait to hear _that_ story?” he asked.

Blaine broke out in laughter. “What was I thinking?”

Someone to his left cleared their throat. “Excuse me, you’re blocking the door.”

Blaine jumped back, only just realizing how close together they’d been standing.

“Sorry,” he said, and the man went past them.

“Let’s sit down, shall we?” Sebastian said, and smoothly guided Blaine to their table.

“Wait here while I get the coffees. Your usual?”

“Please.” Blaine nodded.

Sebastian returned a few minutes later to find Blaine staring at unanswered texts from glee club.

He stood behind Blaine as he read a text from Marley: _look, I only met kurt one time, but I think it’s pretty awful if it’s true that you cheated on him..._

Blaine set his phone down, startling when he realized Sebastian was standing there.

Sebastian wordlessly handed Blaine his drink, listened to Blaine’s quiet, “thank you.”

As Sebastian took his seat, he looked at Blaine curiously. Cocking his head to the side, he asked, “You cheated on Kurt?”

Blaine’s lip curled. “If you ask Kurt, yes.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Sebastian’s voice was odd, tight and shielded in a way it usually wasn’t with Blaine.

“You.”

“Me? Last time I checked...”

“Kurt didn’t believe me when I told him,” Blaine explained.

“Okay,” Sebastian nodded slowly. “What exactly happened with you guys? I tell you he’s bad for you, you get mad and stop talking to me, a few weeks later I get a phone call out of the blue that you broke up with him. Did something happen?”

Blaine bit his lip. “I wasn’t really planning on telling people. It’s personal.”

“I’m not people. I already don’t like Kurt, you don’t have to worry about me getting upset with you. It’s not good to keep things in.”

Blaine stared off at a spot on the wall, face in palm. He seemed conflicted.

“I stopped talking to you because part of me agreed with you. I tried to ignore it. Things kept getting worse between Kurt and I, and I felt really, really alone,” Blaine's voice was hoarse for a moment.

“So I decided to talk to him about it. I hoped he would realize, so we could fix it. But he didn’t understand. He just got really mad at me. So... I decided to break up with him. He thought I was cheating on him with you, and he didn’t believe me, didn’t _trust_ me,” he said angrily.

“So we broke up. And now I have no idea what I’m doing.” he shrugged, almost managing to laugh despite his sudden rush of despair.

“We’ll figure it out,” Sebastian said, placing his hand lightly on top of Blaine’s. It felt like an anchor, warm and solid. “I will literally go to meetings with your bambi guidance counselor. Whatever you need. By the end of this year... you’ll know what you’re doing.”

Blaine looked up at Sebastian through his eyelashes, and managed a small smile. “Okay.”

-

Sebastian was true to his word. He set up an appointment with Ms. Pillsbury, who was rather shocked to receive a passive-aggressive email about her “guidance” and McKinley in general from a non-McKinley student.

She gave Blaine about 50 brochures for different colleges and careers and set up a weekly appointment.

Blaine brought the brochures to coffee with Sebastian, poring over them and throwing away half.

“I still want to be in a city, even if it’s not New York,” Blaine said, wrinkling his nose at a tiny private school somewhere in Indiana.

“Like, a big city, or a small one?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, we’ll keep both for now.”

At the end of two hours, Blaine had at least one school in eight cities, from LA to Houston to DC to New York.

“Take a look and maybe talk to your parents about what they think. And you can look at those career brochures or you can wait and we’ll do it together,” Sebastian said as they parted. It was almost dark, although it was only 6. Winter, and Sectionals, were approaching fast.

“I haven’t even told them Kurt and I broke up yet. They’ve been asking what’s wrong and I’ve been brushing them off, but I feel bad because they do care,” Blaine shrugged.

“I think it’s about time. It’s been almost two weeks.”

Blaine nodded. They were standing next to his car. “Alright, well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sebastian opened Blaine’s driver door for him, and Blaine got in, looking at Sebastian curiously. “Thank you,” Blaine said reflexively.

He rolled his window down and waited for Sebastian to let go of the door..

“...Seb?”

Sebastian snapped out of it, closing the door a bit harder than he meant to and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, and swiftly walked away.

Blaine stared after him for a moment before a harsh breeze came through his window and he rolled it up and drove away.

-

Blaine had family dinner that night.

“Um, I have something to say,” he said awkwardly.

“Go ahead, sweetheart,” his mother said.

“I know I’ve been kind of - pushing you away a little bit, but the reason I’ve been kinda upset lately is that Kurt and I broke up.”

He didn’t look at them, but imagined raised eyebrows and exchanged “I knew it” looks before, - “Oh! Honey, I’m sorry,” his mother said, and placed a comforting hand on his.

“I’ll be okay,” he said, looking at his parents and admitting to himself that really, they were handling this pretty well.

“Did something happen?” his father asked.

“Not really,” Blaine sighed, felt a little bad for lying, but his relationship struggles were personal. “The long distance just... really wasn’t working.”

There was some small talk about it, Blaine learned way too much about his mom’s first boyfriend, he received comfort from both of his parents.

“It’s probably for the best,” Blaine said after a while. “I’m looking at schools outside of New York now. I realized that I was really limiting myself, and I don’t want to do that.”

Warm, thrilled smiles - “Oh, that’s great! Where?”

That was another long conversation, Blaine rattling off schools and city facts and bringing out his brochures and not even noticing his dinner getting steadily colder, caught up in his parents rapt attention to his life.

After a while, his mother asked, “But do you know what you want to _do?_ ”

Blaine shook his head. “I really don’t. That’s why I’m applying to a bunch of different types of schools.”

He looked at his dad, who was tapping his chin thoughtfully.

“You would make a great politician, Blaine,” he said suddenly, turning to look at Blaine with those electric blue eyes that Cooper had gotten. When Blaine was a child, he thought that those eyes could pierce through anything, and so Blaine never told a lie (or if he did he always started crying apologies about a minute later).

A politician. Blaine stared at him. “Really?”

“Really. You care so much about - everything, and you really want to help people. I know the idea is intimidating, but I want you to at least think about it, okay?”

-

“Thank god most of these schools use the common app,” Blaine groaned, buried in pages of information. “And I should probably take the ACT again. Shit.”

“Blaine, chill. You have plenty of time, and you’ve already finished the common app. You just need some supplements,” Sebastian soothed, filling out his own applications.

Blaine rested his head on the table. “I know. It’s just - overwhelming.”

“Let’s take a break,” Sebastian said, putting down his pen. “Did you talk to your parents?”

Blaine nodded from where his head was pillowed in his arms. He turned his head to the side so Sebastian could hear him. “It went fine. I didn’t tell them everything, but you know. Enough.”

“Anything else?”

“My dad said I should look into politics,” Blaine blurted.

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose. Blaine wasn’t sure if he looked impressed or just surprised. “Really?”

“That’s what I said. Do you not think so?”

“No, I agree, actually. You could be the first gay president,” Sebastian laughed.

“If we don’t have a gay president before I’m _old enough_ to be president, something is wrong.”

“What do _you_ think about it?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine sat up straight. “I’m... strangely not opposed to the idea? I mean I have to think about it but I like it more than, say, being a real estate agent.”

“Alright. First interest. That’s great.”

-

The next month, Blaine’s schedule was full.

He had increasingly frequent glee club rehearsals for sections, college applications, tests, research for schools, in addition to his usual schoolwork.

Sebastian was the only thing that kept him sane. And Sebastian had sat through many a rant by then, always impressed by how much steam Blaine built up, and how secretly judgey he was.

“Mr. Schuester doesn’t know a goddamn thing about choreography - so while he was up there, explaining it again and again to Ryder, who really just needs some private lessons and practice, I was studying, but Mr. Schue took my stuff and said I couldn’t do that while he was teaching. Last time I checked it’s a club, not a class! I hate him. I hate him.”

“Wow.”

“Shut the fuck up. Those are things I miss about the Warblers - the council and side stepping.”

It was the first time Blaine made Sebastian throw his head back in laughter. “You just wait until we compete at Regionals,” he had said.

-

And then suddenly it was time for Sectionals, and Kurt was going to be in town soon, and with him every glee alum, and Blaine felt like he was suffocating.

There was a glee party after Sectionals, and Blaine was dreading it.

“I could go with you,” Sebastian offered when Blaine complained about it for the third day in a  row.

“Wait, really?” Blaine asked, taken aback.

“Yeah. I’ll be at Sectionals anyway to see you perform. Then it Kurt tries to bother you you can talk to me and he’ll make that face,” Sebastian laughed.

“As long as you’re nice to my friends - and don’t actually call Kurt out, okay?”

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ll be good,” he said.

Blaine wriggled in his seat, smiling excitedly. “Great!”

-

Mercedes and Mike were back before everyone else to help for Sectionals.

Blaine couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt, glad he was staying in New York until the actual competition.

He missed a step.

Mike sighed. “C’mon, Blaine, you’re one of the best dancers here, I don’t understand why you keep messing up! Okay, watch again.”

Blaine blushed, but completed the move without a mistake. He couldn’t let himself get distracted.

At the end of dance rehearsal, Mike held him after.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and Blaine shrugged. He was doing that a lot lately.

“Are you going to be okay, performing with Kurt in the audience?” Mike seemed quite concerned.

“Yes,” Blaine said adamantly. “I’m a performer, Mike. I can put on a show face.”

Mike held his hands up in supplication. “I just need to know if you’ll be all right. I’m not taking sides. Other people are, so just... be prepared for it, okay? Things will quiet down eventually, but this party could be nasty, Blaine.”

Blaine nodded slowly. “Thanks, Mike. Sorry for snapping at you. It’s been hard. And I will practice those moves. See you later.”

“Take care of yourself, Blaine.”

-

It was the day of the competition and Blaine didn’t want to get out of bed.

He had to be at school in an hour and a half.

He hid his face under the covers and tried to think about anything else.

That never happened. Blaine hadn’t had serious pre-show anxiety since he was a child and Cooper said that Santa would determine how many presents he got by how good his performance was.

But, he admitted to himself, it wasn’t Sectionals he was worried about.

Kurt would be in the audience, and Blaine would be singing a song - not _about_ them, but close to Blaine’s heart.

With a sigh, he got out of bed. His parents were already at work. _Are they? What the hell day of the week is it_? They couldn’t make Sectionals, but promised they would be at Regionals, despite the fact that Blaine had a solo.

But really, Blaine didn’t care that much.

He took the things he needed and put them in his backpack. Sectionals outfit, snacks, whatever else, and left for the school.

He sang scales in the car and tried not to think about Kurt.

It wasn’t that Blaine was hung up on him. He couldn’t really describe it, it just felt like constant, vague dread.

Would Kurt want to talk to him? It really hadn’t been all that long since the breakup - or was almost two months a long time? He supposed their perceptions were different.

Blaine had felt distant from Kurt for more than a month before he ended their relationship, but Kurt had been blindsided.

 _Stop thinking about it. Think about the performance,_ he told himself.

He was in for a long day.

-

_I can do this. I can do this._

“I can’t do this,” Blaine said with wide eyes as he peered through the curtain and saw Kurt sitting with the other glee alums.

A warm hand on his shoulder turned him around. “Yes, you can,” Sebastian said.

Blaine was silent as he looked up at Sebastian. Around him was the hustle and bustle of last minute costume fixes, dance practices, vocal warmups, arguing, and the constant buzz of the audience, but they were inaudible to Blaine.

“Kurt’s gonna know -”

“Yeah, he is,” Sebastian cut him off. “And it’s gonna be awesome, because you’re gonna put on a show face and fucking rock it, and he’s going to know you’re not affected.”

“But I _am!”_ Blaine whispered.

“But he won’t know. You won’t let him. All you’re going to do it go up there, perform like the fucking professional you are, and win the competition,” Sebastian said, squeezing Blaine’s shoulders.

“Five minutes!” someone called, and Blaine started shaking.

“You can do it, Blaine,” Sebastian said. “I promise.”

Blaine nodded, grounding himself. “Okay.”

-

The first song was the one that caught the audience’s attention. Loud, sometimes obnoxious, dance-heavy.

It went really well. Ryder messed up some, but really, he switched spots at the last minute and nobody blamed him.

Blaine was next. He started out alone on stage.

He stood there for a minute as he waited to come in. He scanned the audience and found Kurt.

Kurt was watching closely with an unreadable expression. It was almost cold, but Blaine could see that that was only a facade.

His eyes drifted to Sebastian, who was watching with rapt attention, smiling widely. When he met Sebastian’s eyes, he exchanged a small nod, and then it was time to come in.

Blaine opened his mouth, mind clear, and started to sing.

~

_You and me,_

_too good to be,_

_too true to be,_

_too dumb to see_

_~_

Kurt’s eyes had widened, and Blaine saw him grip Rachel’s hand tightly.

~

_So here I am,_

_I’m still alone,_

_I’m still awake,_

_I’m still afraid._

_I don’t know what day it is,_

_‘cause I’ve been up all night_

_~_

Blaine closed his eyes and tried to perform with emotion without being overcome. He’d first heard the song before he had broken up with Kurt, and had clung to it.

~

_Now you’re off in another town,_

_with another girl,_

_just sittin’ around._

_But I’m still here,_

_I’m still alone,_

_I’m still awake,_

_I’m still afraid._

_~_

He opened his eyes again and met Sebastian’s.

~

_I don’t know what week it is,_

_‘cause I’ve been up all night_

_~_

A breath.

~

_I wanna see you,_

_forever and ever._

_~_

_Don’t look at Kurt,_ he told himself.

He looked at Kurt.

~

_You left me here all alone_

_You left me here in the cold_

_You left me here by the sea_

_Oh well now all I wish I could see_

_Is you and me_

~

Kurt looked back at him, and he looked... mostly confused. Also angry.

Blaine finished the song, looking around the audience and clutching the mic stand tightly.

Sebastian gave him a standing ovation, cheering his name.

He took a deep breathe before he reintroduced the New Directions for the finale.

He couldn’t remember it, later, his first memories after that were of winning and accepting the Sectionals trophy while he watched Sebastian keep cheering for him.

-

Blaine was ridiculously self-conscious about entering the party with Sebastian.

He drove about five miles under the speed limit on the way to Rachel’s house, hoping everyone would already be drunk and their entrance would go unnoticed.

Surprisingly, it mostly worked.

Rachel was already doing karaoke, a sad, slow song she cleared directed at Finn. It was really kind of awkward, and Blaine averted his eyes.

Sam immediately yelled, “Blaine!” but that was to be expected. They went over and Sam shoved a drink into Blaine’s hand. Blaine handed it to Sebastian, explaining, “I’m driving, dude.”

“Oh! Good on you, man. Your solo was so good today. I think the audience really felt the emotion,” Sam looked like he was about to wax poetic about Blaine’s performance, but he noticed Sebastian.

“What are you doing here?” he asked him.

Blaine answered for him. “I invited him. He was at Sectionals today, too.”

“I thought your solo in the first one was quite an improvement from Regionals earlier this year,” Sebastian said with a seemingly genuine smile.

Sam grinned widely. “Really? That’s so nice. Blaine said you were being nice, but I had my doubts. I think it’s good that he has another gay guy friend, now that he’s not talking to Kurt, you know?”

Sebastian nodded, laughing a little at Sam’s enthusiasm.

“Alright, Sam. Have you talked to Brittany yet?” Blaine asked.

“No,” Sam pouted. “She’s making out with Santana right now. Why is Santana doing that to her? I thought they broke up.”

Blaine looked over to the couch, where Brittany and Santana were indeed making out. “Their relationship is... complicated. I’m sure you’ll be able to talk to her later.”

“Okay! I’ll see you later Blaine. And Sebastian,” Sam walked away, so Blaine stood there a minute while Sebastian poured himself another drink.

“Thank you for being nice,” Blaine said. Sebastian looked up from his drink with a twinkling, surprisingly shy smile.

“I made a promise, didn’t I? By the way, Kurt’s been giving me the evil eye the entire time I’ve been here,” Sebastian said, jerking his head in Kurt’s direction.

Blaine reflexively looked in the direction Sebastian pointed out, but snapped his head back when he shared an awkward glance with Kurt.

“Come on, introduce me to the new ones. Can I scare them a little bit?” Sebastian directed Blaine to where the new kids were standing, apart from the overall group, but seemingly enjoying themselves all the same.

“No! They’re already intimidated by the people who’ve graduated. And Marley, especially, is really sweet.”

-

They actually got the new kids to join the larger group as the party got louder and louder.

Kurt and Blaine still tried to stay as far away as possible from each other, but Blaine was surprised to find how good of a time he was having. Sebastian was loose, a little bit drunk, and cracking jokes. Shockingly, they weren’t _all_ at other peoples’ expense.

A few hours in, Blaine noticed Santana sitting alone on the couch, nursing a drink.

Blaine nudged Sebastian over to her. “Let’s go.” Sebastian nodded, looking vaguely apprehensive.

They sat next to Santana on the couch. She wordlessly handed her drink to Blaine and started filing her nails. “Sup, queers,” she said without looking up.

Blaine studied her for a second. A curtain of hair was separating them, so he couldn’t judge how dead he was about to be.

“Are you and Brittany still broken up?” he asked.

“Yes, actually, she interrupted our makeout sesh to tell me that she wanted to date Sam. He’s probably going to end up swallowing her whole with his freakishly huge mouth.” She tried to sound nonchalant, but Blaine heard the quiver in her voice.

“I’m sure there will be plenty of girls in New York,” he said, laying a comforting hand on her arm.

She shook it off. “Don’t touch me. I’m afraid I’ll bond to all that gel in your hair. And,” she put away the nail file and took her drink back. “Of course there will be girls in New York. But none of them will be her, will they?”

Blaine smiled sadly.

“And why are you here, prep school? Is Blaine putting out for you yet?” Santana asked Sebastian.

Blaine answered for him again. “We’re just friends. He’s here because I asked him to be.”

She laughed. “Possibly even _more_ pathetic.”

“Did that slushie stain come out of that blouse?” Sebastian asked with a quirked eyebrow.

She looked at him, a touch more serious. ‘Yes, luckily enough for you, or I would have your balls in a jar right now.”

“I’m sorry for slushie-ing you,” Sebastian said.

Santana looked at him suspiciously. Even Blaine looked taken aback.

Narrowing her eyes, Santana asked, “Are you fucking with me?”

“Nope,” Sebastian shook his head. “I turned over a new leaf, remember? I already apologized to Blaine for slushie-ing him, and as I don’t know when I’ll see you next - if ever, I figured I would take the opportunity to do so now.”

“I... accept? Do you get _nice_ when you drink? What the hell. You can go bother someone else now,” she waved them off.

“Thank you for doing that,” Blaine said once they were out of hearing range. “You didn’t have to, you know. You’re kindred souls, a lot of that stuff is unspoken.”

Sebastian shrugged. “She wasn’t wrong. It’s easier to be nice when I drink. That wasn’t as torturous or stupid as it would have seemed sober.”

They had made their way over to where Mercedes and Kurt were, and Blaine froze, staring at Kurt.

 _What’s he gonna say what do_ I _say what will Mercedes think how does he feel how do I feel oh god the look he’s giving Sebastian -_

“Hey, Aretha,” Sebastian said. Mercedes eyebrows’ raised. “Hello, boys.”

“I heard you were the vocal coach! It showed, they were awesome. No surprise they won, huh?” Sebastian ignored Kurt and engaged Mercedes in conversation, letting Blaine chime in now and then.

He could see Kurt puff up. He was probably still angry from the breakup, and there Blaine and Sebastian were, ignoring his existence.

Ridiculously, Blaine started to giggle. It was out of place, and it seemed to be the breaking point for Kurt.

“ _What_ are you doing?” He asked, clearly angry.

“Are you talking to me?” Sebastian asked, acting taken aback.

“Both of you - you especially! You’re rubbing it in my face that you broke Blaine and I up!”

“I’m just talking to Mercedes here. I thought you didn’t want to talk. At least that’s what I heard from Blaine,” Sebastian said, and then it was really started.

“Well. Nice to see that you’re still a slutty boyfriend stealer,” Kurt said coldly.

“Namecalling? I’m wounded. But here’s a little tidbit: I didn’t take Blaine from you. He left you because you were a fucking terrible boyfriend,” Sebastian was snide, smirking, and Kurt grew even more agitated.

“What the hell would you know about being a boyfriend?”

“At least I didn’t abandon him in _Lima, Ohio,_ and then ignore him! Oh wait, that was you.”

“He _told_ me to leave!” Kurt protested.

“Guys, please don’t -” Blaine said weakly.

“Shut up, Blaine,” Kurt snapped, and Sebastian let out a humorless, contemptuous laugh. “And you wonder why he left you.”

“Sebastian, let’s go,” Blaine laid a hand on his wrist and he softened, nodding.

“Nice chatting with you.”

The room was quiet but for the empty music. At some point they had gotten an audience.

Blaine kept his head down, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly, and Sebastian gave a polite wave before they disappeared upstairs.

-

Blaine and Sebastian went to Blaine's car, climbing in in silence. However, Blaine didn't make to go anywhere. He wasn't looking at Sebastian.

"...Blaine?" Sebastian ventured, and then was silenced when Blaine raised his head, wiping tears from his cheeks.

"I'm sorry for arguing with Kurt. I know you asked me not to. I was just - so mad at him, for what he did to you. And he's a dick."

Blaine started shaking his head. "I'm not upset with you. You were fine tonight. Honestly, I'm upset with Kurt. I know it's stupid - but I guess I was kind of hoping - that he would realize what was wrong with us? Come begging for forgiveness? At least say sorry? I don't know. Clearly that's not happening. And I'm -" he gestured at his face - "not handling it well, I guess. I haven't handled any of this well." Blaine let out a tiny laugh, and Sebastian smiled at him.

"Well," Sebastian started. "I think you have handled this shit remarkably well. When I met you last year, you would not admit that that guy had a fault. You were meant to be. Blaine, just a couple months ago you wouldn't hear a word against him. It hurts because you're losing something you love - whether that's Kurt or just the idea of him. And it shows how much you've grown Blaine, as weird as that sounds coming from me, because you are your own person now. And that's why I do have to apologize for calling him out instead of letting you do it - or not do it."

Blaine shrugged, yet smiled at Sebastian. "I already told him most of that anyway. Part of me liked that you were doing it."

"Think it was hot?" Sebastian waggled his eyebrows. Blaine grinned. "Totally."

Blaine drove away, to Sebastian's house. "Were you being serious? Because I can get into more arguments in front of you - I've been super nice in front of you lately, damn. I had no idea you wanted the bad me."

"Oh my god, never say that again!" Blaine laughed wildly. "You are way too drunk. And you're home. Get out, you hooligan."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever called me." Sebastian grinned widely at Blaine, leaning in the door of the car.

Blaine giggled, waving Sebastian out as he said his goodbyes. "I'll see you Monday. I'm sure you know how to deal with a hangover by now."

"That I do! Alright. Bye, Blaine."

And then Blaine was left to deal with how ridiculously cute Sebastian seemed to get when he was drunk. He didn't remember that from his one trip to Scandals with him. He remembered horny, slight brushes against him in the dark - but really, his memory of that night is fuzzy. He'd always focused on the part where Kurt was mad at him.

Lately, he'd been thinking a lot about the times he'd spent with Sebastian while he was still with Kurt. What would have happened had he not been dating Kurt? He would have still been at Dalton. He'd asked Sebastian once, and he'd said it would have just been a hookup, but Blaine wondered if he could have tamed Sebastian, if they could have ever been -something. He felt his cheeks warm. He wondered if they could be something now.

-

Going to school Monday was a bit weird. For one, half of glee club still seemed hungover, and he heard mutters from Artie and Tina about alcohol awareness week sophomore year, but it was lost on Blaine.

Second, he seemed to be getting a lot of side-eyes, but this time they seemed impressed. They weren't thinking of him as a cheater, they were thinking of him as - he didn't know what. Something better than a cheater, hopefully. Maybe they were on his side. Kurt was still in town, and Blaine was just hoping that he didn't make an appearance at the school.

He didn't that day, and glee was short, due to the fact that they were just celebrating their win, so Blaine met up with Sebastian earlier than usual.

All things considered, it was a pretty normal coffee date - they talked about the party some, college, school, until someone from behind Blaine called out, "Sebastian!"

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Oh, fucking hell."

"Sebastian! Hey!" A boy with dark hair and eyes bounded up to them.

"Luke," Sebastian nodded at him. "Lucas!" the boy corrected with a bright smile. "You ran out on me without giving me your number. I was afraid I'd never see you again. Who's this?" Lucas eyed Blaine, malcontent.

"Blaine Anderson," Blaine said with a slightly pinched smile.

"Lucas. I didn't give you my number for a reason. It was just a hookup. Can you leave us alone now?"

Lucas's jaw dropped. "O-oh."

"I'm not the dating type. I thought that was clear."

Blaine felt the look on Lucas's face reflected in his own stomach. It felt like he'd been punched.

"Right," Lucas said, and with a look at Blaine, he left.

Sebastian groaned. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Blaine said softly, and licked his lips.

He knew Sebastian didn't date, so why did he feel so affected?

-

The next day, during their coffee date, Santana walked in. She gave them a smirk and walked over.

"Hey, don't you need more coffee?" she smiled sweetly at Sebastian, who rolled his eyes and got up. She told him her order and took his seat.

Blaine met her eyes somewhat apprehensively. "Are you going to stab me with those razors you keep in your hair?"

She smiled at him, patting his hand. "Not today, sweet, sweet Blainers."

He stared at her. "Are you okay?"

"Perfect. You know why? Because I'm not going back to Kentucky. I'm going to New York."

"Oh! That's great! What are you going to do there?"

She shrugged. "Bartend? Attend night classes? I don't give a fuck, frankly, I want out of Kentucky. I want to live my life. Really, I wish I'd done it sooner." She looked at him carefully, leaning forward slightly.

She then leaned all the way back in her chair, crossing her arms. "I knew that that's what I wanted, but I thought I was doing what was best, which was _stupid,_ by the way. I know now that doing what's best would have been going to New York right away, so I could have attended "real school". Maybe I'll apply for Barnard or some shit. I got great fucking grades in high school and I was a lesbian captain of the cheerleaders. What do they have to turn down? I just wish that I hadn't been afraid."

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "Are you making comparisons between us?"

She looked at him innocently. "What? Offering you advice in disguise? Not, that's ridiculous. We have nothing in common."

"Right..." Blaine said slowly. "Well, congratulations. I'm really happy that you're doing what you want now, Santana. I think everyone should get what they want, especially if it makes them happy."

"That's why you're my favorite twink," she said fondly. "I just want to hold you to my bosom and protect you. Which is why I have one more thing to tell you: don't be afraid to take risks with Sebastian. Oh, speak of the devil! Blaine, your phone is ringing."

He looked down at the dark screen, utterly befuddled. "No, it's not-" but he shut up after a piercing glare from her, walking outside, pondering what she  had just told him. Was she saying that Sebastian was his New York? He didn't think a person could be a dream location. But maybe there was some metaphor in there...

He studied Santana and Sebastian inside the Lima Bean, each with strangely fond smiles on their faces, which was weird, given their vitriolic tendencies with the other, but, to each their own.

-

"Don't be a fucking tool. I know you have feelings for Blaine, there is literally no other excuse for acting the way you were on Saturday."

"Are you telling me not to?" Sebastian said angrily.

"Not denying it! I had no idea you could actually feel." Santana laughed.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it exactly? Are you here to threaten me or some shit?"

"That's less than half of it. I think it goes without saying that if you hurt him, I'll hurt you, whatever. I'm giving you some legitimate advice, because all of you are idiots," she was filing her nails again.

Sebastian huffed, then crossed his arms, feeling insecure. "I've never had a - _crush_ on someone," he said, wrinkling his nose. She smiled at him, a real smile. "That's because you've never met someone like Blaine. You could have something really great with him. Don't fuck it up."

She waved Blaine back in, and then stood up, taking the mocha Sebastian got her. "Laters."

Blaine and Sebastian exchanged a look that was somewhere between exasperation and gratitude, saying goodbye.

-

Blaine hadn't seen or heard anything from Kurt all week, and he thought he was in the clear in regards to him making a surprise appearance in school.

Except, of course, he was wrong. After glee, when Blaine was on his way to his car, Kurt stopped him in the hallway.

His blood ran cold as he turned to face Kurt. He held his elbow with one hand awkwardly. "Hey... hi, Kurt. How are you?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Kurt said, crossing his arms.

"That's good," Blaine said. He waited, feeling sadness well up deep within him. It was as if there was a schism in the Kurt he knew: the one before he left and the one after. He remembered the one who held him in his arms as he fucked him and whispered _I love you_ s into his neck, the one he could talk to hours to. He couldn't believe that he was the same person as the one standing before him with such an ugly expression on his face.

"Do you regret breaking up?" Kurt asked, and Blaine's eyebrows shot up. It wasn't the question he had been expecting.

He was quiet. He knew the answer, but couldn't figure out the best way to phrase it. After a minute, he knew there was only one way.

"No. No, I don't."

Kurt looked taken aback. It was a raw reaction, one he clearly hadn't been expecting, and one that hurt. "How can you say that? How are we better off than before?"

Blaine looked at him sadly. " _I'm_ better off, Kurt. I know things are exactly the same as they were when I broke up with you, because of what you said at the party."

"With Sebastian."

"Yes, with Sebastian."

Kurt's nostrils flared. "Have you fucked anyone yet?"

Blaine took a step back at the venom in his voice. "Have I...? No," he swallowed, waiting for the follow-up. He let out a breath of a laugh. "Do you believe me?"

Kurt hesitated. "I honestly don't know."

There was a full minute of silence between them. Blaine tried to look at Kurt, but all he saw brought back memories too painful for that moment, so instead he watched as he toed the ground.

"I would get back together with you. Right now. If you wanted," Kurt said, and he sounded kind of desperate, though his face was guarded.

Blaine shook his head slowly. "We're not good together, Kurt. It didn't work out. It's not going to work out now, because nothing's changed. And to be honest, I'm still waiting for an apology for how you treated me. I'm still upset about that. But I can't hold you to anything, because obviously, we aren't together."

"An apology?! For what?"

"The fact that I have to tell you is bad enough!" Blaine said, finally raising his voice.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I've had enough of this. You should know, though - I won't take you back if you try again." It was breathy, and he finally met Blaine's eyes, and he seemed as lost as Blaine felt.

"I know," Blaine said, barely more than a whisper.

"Oh," Kurt raised his chin. "Well, I think there's nothing more to say, then."

He turned after a lingering look, a glance to Blaine's lips. He was gone in moments, rounding a corner and disappearing from Blaine's sights.

Blaine touched his lips shakily and leaned against the wall with a deep breath.

-

December was a blur. It got _really fucking cold_ way too early, a bitter cold that settled deep in Blaine's bones. He broke out his scarves and hats - most of them still complemented the Dalton colors, which Sebastian never failed to find amusing. Blaine would step inside the Lima Bean in a matching scarf and hat, cheeks all red, and when he pulled the hat off his hair was inevitably wonky (reminiscent of the days before Kurt showed him how to do it properly, when he transferred to McKinley, except more staticky).

He spent that month frantically finishing college applications due sometime in January, reading and re-reading his essays, checking his information, trading essays with Sebastian and reading each others' - the stress was showing on Sebastian too, although he seemed to handle it much better than Blaine. However, when Blaine suggested that, he let out a strangled laugh and said, "That's because I've started filling them out in my sleep. I have fallen asleep answering the same questions and woken up to a finished application. I don't know if it's terrifying or the best thing ever. Maybe I should get my own reality show: stressed high school gay senior does work in sleep."

Blaine cracked up at that, although looking back he wasn't sure if it was because it really was funny or because he was so sleep-deprived himself. He had midterms coming up and really, he could not wait for the winter break. He hoped to be finished with applications by then, so he could finally rest and decide what to do after. He had no idea where he was going or what he was doing yet, but he, Sebastian, Ms. Pillsbury, and his parents had made sure that he had "cultivated multiple options" as Ms. P. liked to say. He supposed he didn't really have a reason to see her now, but he would anyway. She always had snacks, and they were individually wrapped and delicious. He was pretty sure he wouldn't decide what he wanted to do with his life while talking to her, but you never knew, right?

Before he knew it, he was filling out the last of his applications and actually sending them off before their due date, finishing his last midterm (AP Calculus. He was pretty sure he either did great or completely and utterly failed).

And then it was Christmas break.

And he had nothing to do.

Extremely disturbed by this, he decided to throw a party, like a “real teenager”. His parents always took off Christmas break, and then left him alone for a few days around the new year. He normally had Cooper with him, but Cooper was busy shooting something this year and couldn't make it.

Still, Blaine was torn. He felt uncomfortable lying to his parents about what he would be doing on New Year's, given that their relationship was still on the mend, but he was also pretty sure they wouldn't let him have the party if he did tell them.

So, he tried halfway.

"So where are you guys going on New Year's?" he asked at the first family dinner he was out of school.

They smiled widely, glad he was interested. "Well, we're doing something I always wanted to do when I was young!" his mother said excitedly. "We're going to New York City to watch the ball drop!"

"Oh! Oh my god, that's awesome! I hope I can do that one day..." Blaine smiled at her.

"What do you think you're going to do? Did you have any plans?"

"Yeah, actually," he said, feeling a little nervous. "I was wondering if I could have a few friends over? From school."

"That sounds wonderful. Maybe you could invite some of the boys from Dalton, too! As long as you're all - responsible. I want you all safe, okay?" she smiled at him kindly, and all he could think was _she totally knows_.

"Of course, mom."

"And we want it clean here when we get back. If we walk in and find wrappers and things around -" his dad started, but Blaine was laughing. "I promise it'll be clean, even if I have to force my friends to pick up their stuff. Okay?"

The rest of dinner was nice, as was the rest of break. Planning for a party was surprisingly difficult. He had to invite everyone, buy plates and plan for food and bribe Puck to buy drinks. It was actually a nice distraction from everything. He met up with Sebastian a few times, but Dalton's midterms were actually after break so he was busy studying a lot, since he waited until after finishing his college applications.

He ended up inviting the whole glee club and its graduates, _and_ some of his Warbler friends from Dalton. He was pretty sure that it was going to be a night to remember.

-

In hindsight, Blaine wasn't sure why he was surprised when things got out of hand.

People started showing up at about 7. Sebastian came over with a few of the Warblers to "see if you needed any last minute help" according to Trent, and he gratefully (blushingly) accepted help putting things up high on the walls.

"I would've gotten a step stool," he'd pouted when Sebastian teased, "What would you do without us tall ones?"

Everyone else had gotten there soon after that. Someone took control of the music, Puck arrived with some mysterious boxes - and Blaine was hosting a Real Teenage Party.

He'd told everyone that they had to stay in the basement. There was a TV playing "New Year's Rockin' Eve," a ping pong table that looked like it was being used for beer pong, and a patio so they could go out to watch Blaine's neighbors set of illegal fireworks at midnight.

The guests actually obeyed that, although there were a ridiculous amount of people sitting and talking on the stairs.

He had never seen such a mad rush as when he and a few other guys came down with the pizzas. They "pizza money" jar was quickly stuffed with bills (because Blaine really could not afford almost 20 pizzas).

Blaine was too busy making sure everyone and everything was okay to have more than a couple drinks over the course of the party, and noticed that Sebastian wasn't drinking either. He was actually standing alone, not even hanging out with the Warblers (who had, for whatever reason, decided to put their Dalton ties around their heads).

When Blaine tried to talk to him, he was shrugged off with a tense look. Blaine decided to come back later, because Quinn and Santana looked like they were about to start in on a major argument.

Once he'd solved their issue a few minutes later, Blaine looked over to Sebastian to see him talking to Kurt.

He nearly choked on his tongue.

But, surprisingly, they looked - civil - and Kurt wasn't giving his "I'm going to destroy you" smile.

When Sebastian walked away, he looked caught between disgusted and pleased. "What did you do?" Blaine asked, almost afraid of the answer. Sebastian merely chuckled. "I apologized for how I acted at Thanksgiving. Don't look so shocked, killer, does everyone keep forgetting my new leaf?"

Santana had started singing along to "Santa Baby" - while Blaine may not have a stage like Rachel, he did have a pretty awesome mic + sound system - mostly thanks to Cooper.

Everyone had been singing Christmas songs on and off all night - still in the spirit a few days later. He smiled fondly at Santana as she finished and took a bow.

It really was getting quite late by then. Midnight was drawing nearer, and Blaine found himself wondering what the new year would bring.

Standing in the corner of the room, somewhere quiet amidst chaos, he drifted, content to be in the madness of his friends - his family.

He was brought back to awareness of his surroundings by someone else beginning a song - not Christmas, he'd guess by the opening. Blaine knew that he knew the song, but had trouble placing it - until -

Sebastian started singing "Slow it Down" by the Lumineers. Blaine looked over, shocked. He'd mentioned before break that that was his favorite song off the album.

Sebastian looked surprisingly vulnerable. Most of the party didn't even register that he was singing, but Blaine couldn't take his eyes off of him. He had never seen Sebastian perform by himself. Sebastian sung casually, yes, but this was different.

It was beautiful, and as Blaine watched Sebastian looked over to him and smiled, just slightly. For that moment Blaine couldn't hear the noise of the party, just Sebastian and the silence.

The song was over too soon, and Sebastian walked - almost shyly - over to him. Blaine was quiet for a second, looking up at him, before thickly saying, "Thank you."

"I'm just a good listener," Sebastian said, but Blaine knew there was more.

Checking his watch, he was astonished to find it was almost midnight.

Blaine got on his tiptoes to say, "I'll be going outside soon. It'll be too loud in here at midnight, you know? It'll be nice to be outside, just fireworks and stars."

Sebastian nodded. "Let me know when." Tapping his watch, Blaine answered, "Soon."

They went out just a few minutes to 12. It really was bitterly cold, even with heavy coats on, and there were some predictions of snow, even.

Blaine shivered a little and Sebastian inched closer to him, just tentatively. Grateful for the offer, Blaine got close to Sebastian, relishing in the body heat.

Inside, people were starting to count down. "59... 58..." and Blaine felt the rush he got every new year, of new beginnings and possibilities.

"What do you want to happen this year? Just, if anything could happen, what would it be?" Blaine asked breathlessly, and watched Sebastian swallow.

"Well, I would like to graduate, first of all." Sebastian chuckled when Blaine hit him on the arm, saying, "Weak!"

Inside, people were starting to crowd together. "21... 20..."

"You only have 20 seconds!" Blaine said. Sebastian laughed again. "I have a whole year. Words are empty without action."

Blaine's breath caught. "9...8..."

"What would you like to happen this year, Bee?" Sebastian asked, and suddenly Blaine could hardly inhale, his heart in his throat. He managed, "I think maybe I'll take a leaf out of your book," before cheers erupted inside.

He lifted himself up onto his toes, wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, and kissed him, hard.

Immediately, he felt the weight of Sebastian's arms around his back, and he could have cried at how close he felt to him. His lips were almost numb from the cold, and "Auld Lang Syne" was playing inside, occasionally drowned out by the _boom_ s of fireworks, and Blaine could see the colors through his closed eyes, and he thought that he could live in that moment forever and be happy.

They broke away, smiling. "So, what did you really want to do this year?" Blaine asked again, feeling too cold now that Sebastian wasn't holding him tightly (though he could still feel Sebastian's arms loosely wrapped around his back).

"Well," Sebastian pretended to think. "It looks like it's already happened. Must be time for another new year." His cheeks were red and eyes bright, and Blaine thought he had never seen something so beautiful.

He felt something cold and wet his his nose, and he blinked in surprise. Sebastian's loud laughter bit through the mixture of sounds coming from everywhere. "It's snowing!" he said.

Blaine beamed so hard it hurt his still-numb cheeks, and pulled Sebastian down for another kiss.

They were soon interrupted by a crowd of people rushing outside to see the fireworks, so Blaine snuck the two of them upstairs, feeling warmth beginning to trickle through his body again.

"There's a balcony in my bedroom. We can get a better view of the fireworks from there, " Blaine said, to which Sebastian responded, "Some pick-up line."

So, yes, they didn't really watch the fireworks. That's not to say they didn't enjoy it.

-

They walked back inside after a while, shivering, and when Sebastian made to bring them back downstairs, Blaine laughed quietly and pulled him onto his bed so Sebastian was laying on top of him.

Blaine smiled up at him and felt Sebastian's breath fanning across his face. He spread his legs a little and felt Sebastian's breath hitch in response.

"It's sweltering inside. Should we take these off?" Blaine said, pulling a little at Sebastian's coat. Sebastian nodded, sitting up and straddling Blaine. He shrugged his coat off and threw it to the floor. He helped Blaine sit up and get his own off, and breathed out a laugh when Blaine pulled him back down and kissed him soundly.

After a minute, Sebastian pulled away, and breathing raggedly, barely managed to get out, “Now _this_ is what I thought my first time in your bed would be like.”

“Really?” Blaine said coyly. “I thought you’d be naked.”

Blaine was staring up at him through his eyelashes, his hair already pillow smashed and his lips red from kissing. There was a blush high on his cheeks, whether from the cold or kissing Sebastian didn’t know.

“I can do that,” Sebastian said, and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it down to the floor near his coat. He swooped back down over Blaine, framing his head with his arms. He startled a little, then chuckled, when Blaine brought his hands to his ass. He was even more surprised when Blaine pushed Sebastian off of him and rapidly sat up, stripping off his own shirt.

Blaine kissed him - sweetly this time, without the force and intent he’d had earlier. And then, seemingly reluctantly, he started to speak. “Sebastian, if we’re going to do this - I can’t just be a hookup to you. I want,” he swallowed. “I want to be your boyfriend.” He finished shyly, voice little more than a whisper.

Sebastian smiled. “Blaine. Of course this isn’t a hookup. Haven’t you been listening? I care about you- more than anything. And I never thought I would say this, but, I would be happy to be your boyfriend.”

Blaine looked at him with happiness and hope such that he’d never seen before. Absently, he thought of how innocent and angelic Blaine could look, even half-naked. This train of thought was ended, however, when Blaine said, “Would you fuck me?”

Sebastian groaned, pushed Blaine back down onto the bed, and kissed him again. Through it, he said, “I would love to.”

He reached for Blaine’s belt, undoing it quickly and briefly breaking their kiss to help Blaine kick his pants off. Once they were gone, he dragged his eyes up and down Blaine’s body, let his hands trace up his thick thighs. Blaine really was so small, and thin except for a belly that Sebastian couldn’t help but want to nuzzle. He drank in Blaine’s appearance, let himself appreciate that which he’d waited so long for.

Blaine was wearing navy briefs, and the outline of his cock was visible through them. Sebastian brought his eyes up to Blaine’s own, and found him watching Sebastian study his body with a content smile. Sebastian brought his hands up a little further until they were brushing the side of Blaine’s cock, and he watched as Blaine inhaled sharply, watched the sudden fall of his chest and tenseness that came into his body.

Sebastian reached for the elastic of the briefs, met Blaine’s eyes, and at the nod, pulled them down ever so slowly. He pulled Blaine’s legs out of them one at a time, kissed each of his knees.

In all his life he had never had slow sex. He’d had countless rough, quick fucks, sometimes places he could get caught, sometimes somewhere alone and dangerous. But he’d never taken his time with someone, and he was noticing things he’d never noticed before. He saw Blaine’s reaction to everything he did and took note of them for (hopefully) future reference.

“Do you want me to-” Sebastian started, gesturing to the lower half of his body, where, yes, his hard-on was visible through his jeans. Blaine was already nodding.

Sebastian shucked them off in a hurry, despite his desire to take it slow. Before he could step out of his underwear, however, Blaine pulled him back down with a gasped, “I wanna touch you.”

Sebastian ground down against Blaine and watched Blaine throw his head back, adam’s apple bobbing around a whimper. “Blaine, where’s the -” he started, but Blaine just said, “I’ll get it. Just, take it off.”

Sebastian climbed off of him and did so unceremoniously while Blaine rummaged in his nightstand drawer. He pulled out what he needed and threw them on the bed and laid himself back down.

Sebastian was back to watching him, suddenly nervous to touch him. it was overwhelming, the need to know everything about a person, the want to know what makes them fall apart. He was brought back to the moment by Blaine’s desperate plea: “Sebastian. Touch me.”

He kissed Blaine, trailing a hand down Blaine’s body and feeling goosebumps pop up, before wrapping a hand around Blaine’s cock. Blaine moaned into the kiss and let his legs fall open, knees drawing upwards as he pushed his hips through the circle of Sebastian's hand.

“I’ll take care of you Blaine,” Sebastian said, brushing his lips against Blaine’s ear. “Just be patient.”

Blaine’s eyes were wild, dark with desire but yet full of fondness and trust. “Okay, but can you - please -”

Sebastian smirked a little. “What do you want me to do, Blaine? I’ll do it. You just have to say. You want me to slide down the bed and suck your cock? Do you want me to drag my fingers to your sweet little ass and fuck you with them? I could push your legs over my shoulders and rim you until you’re fucking begging me to come. Or do you just want me to stay here with my hand around your cock?”

Blaine moaned loudly, shivering a little. “Please - finger me, oh my god, please put them in me. I want you so bad”

Sebastian felt his own cock twitch at that, but ignored it for the time being. He grabbed the lube Blaine had set out - a good portion used, and it set Sebastian’s mind racing. Had Blaine laid here in bed in the dark with a racing mind and his stuffed full of his own fingers, trying to be quiet -

He warmed the lube between his fingers before teasing one down Blaine’s perineum and around his rim, before easing it in. Blaine moaned, immediately eased around him, and Sebastian fucked his finger in and out, slowly, before Blaine choked out, “I can take two, please, Sebastian,” and Sebastian wasn’t in a position to argue.

He pushed a second finger in and then took his time stretching Blaine open as Blaine writhed on his fingers. He was breathing quickly, and sweating a lot - his hair was coming apart from the gel and Sebastian had never experienced something so utterly hot. He let out a strangled moan himself at the thought of pushing into Blaine, the look on his face when he bottomed out.

Blaine heard him and pulled him up until they were face to face again, and then pushed his head up a little and kissed Sebastian. It was rougher than before, and with less technique. Blaine pushed his tongue into Sebastian’s mouth and owned him, forcing another moan out of Sebastian when Blaine bit his bottom lip. He curved his fingers and felt Blaine jolt below him.

Sebastian loved Blaine’s eyes, loved how they changed color based on the light, his mood. He’d never seen them like this - a dark gold, and his pupils were wide.

“Three, Sebastian, please. _God,_ I want you in me so bad,” and Blaine sounded so, so wrecked.

He pulled his fingers out and applied lube to three fingers before pushing in - meeting just a little resistance before Blaine exhaled. This time, Blaine was quiet and Sebastian wasn’t. His face was buried in Blaine’s neck as he fucked him open with his fingers and whispered little things like, “so fucking beautiful while i’m inside you, look at how well you take it,”; “I can see how much you love this, do you like how my fingers are different from yours?”

Blaine said nothing through that, until suddenly he said, “Sebastian. I’m ready, please.”

Sebastian breathed a heavy sigh full of anticipation as he pulled his fingers out. Blaine huffed a little at the feeling, stretching his muscles as Sebastian ripped a condom open and put it on.

As he was stroking himself, applying lube, Blaine cocked his head to the side and said, “I think - in the future, I’d like to not use those. Would you,” he seemed to lose steam, and finished quietly. “Would you think about getting tested so you could -”

Sebastian thought he was going to die. “You want me to come in you?” he asked. Blaine nodded, “I’ve thought about it.”

Sebastian’s eyes closed, almost of their own accord. “Fuck, Blaine,” he said roughly before kissing him.

He positioned himself back above Blaine. “You ready?” he asked, pulling away. Blaine was smiling, eyes sparkling. “So, so ready.”

Sebastian pushed in with a low groan, feeling Blaine open up around him as he did, until his hips met Blaine’s ass. Blaine’s mouth was open and a low whine was coming from him. Sebastian held himself there, flush against Blaine, until Blaine said in a thin voice, “Fuck me, oh my god.”

And Sebastian did, because that he knew he was good at. He pulled Blaine’s legs over his shoulders, heard the squeak Blaine let out as he was dragged down the bed.

Sebastian shuddered , remembered how Blaine had reacted when Sebastian talked to him earlier, and starts talking again.

“You’re so fucking tight, Blaine, god, I’ve thought about this - but you’re so much better. I want to fuck you until you’re screaming.” He brought his face as close to Blaine’s as he could. “And I want to come inside you too. I can’t stop thinking about fuckiing you and coming inside and watching it drip out. Fuck, Blaine, I think it would be so hot that I’d have to just fuck you again. Would you like that? Being fucked full of come?”

Blaine voice was shaky when he answered. “Oh, god, please, Sebastian, yes. Fuck me. Hard, please.”

He held onto Blaine’s hips as he thrusted in, listening to the _slap_ of skin and Blaine’s moans echoing off the walls.

“Have you thought about this, Blaine?” Sebastian asked, slowing down for a minute but keeping his thrusts hard.

“Yes,” Blaine answered in a strained voice. Sebastian grinned at him. “How long? Tell me about it.”

Sebastian swore that if it had been another time, Blaine would have blushed. “The f-first day we met.  That night - I thought about you bending me over that table.”

“Fuck,” Sebastian swore, brought Blaine’s legs back down, and leaned close to Blaine again, bringing his arms to frame his face. “We could do that, you know. I could sneak you into Dalton and get the other guys to cover for me. I could sneak you into that room and fuck you and nobody would ever know.”

Sebastian started rocking into Blaine at a new angle and Blaine let out a high moan. “Fuck, fuck-” he said, wrapping his hands around Sebastian’s back. “Right there, please, god I’m close Sebastian baby please,” he started babbling, and Sebastian wrapped a hand around his cock.

“Yeah? You’re gonna come while I’m filling you up?”

“God yes I love it I want you to come too are you gonna come with me please,” Blaine continued.

Sebastian grunted, said, “Fuck, yes Blaine, I’ll come in you and then when we’re done we can talk about all the places I’m going to fuck you. When you wake up tomorrow morning my lips are going to be around your cock and I’m going to let you fuck my mouth -”

“Fuck! Fuck - oh my god - _Sebastian-”_ Blaine said, and he was coming, cock twitching in Sebastian’s hand as he came in stripes over his belly and chest, and Sebastian fucked in hard as Blaine tightened around him and came deep inside Blaine’s ass with a low groan.

He remained there for a second, shaking, as Blaine pulled him close and kissed him sloppily. “I’m holding you to that,” he said, and Sebastian started to laugh.

He pulled out, wincing at the squelch, took the condom off, and tied it, holding it away from himself with a wrinkled nose. “I swear to god, if I find that on the floor this is never happening again. Find a trash can,” Blaine said, and Sebastian was glad that there were two sides to Blaine: the one he’d always known and some sort of -debauched sex monster.

Blaine looked down at his torso. “Also can you find me a tissue. You might want one for yourself, too. You kind of - laid in it. Ew.”

After they cleaned up, Blaine tentatively laid his head on Sebastian’s chest. After a minute of awkwardly holding himself, he stretched out his arm and wrapped it around Blaine’s back. He felt Blaine lose the tenseness in his shoulders and smiled.

“I’m really glad I decided to call you, back in September,” Blaine murmured, tilting his head slightly to look at Sebastian.

Throat suddenly raw, Sebastian answered in a gruff voice. “Me too.”

-

They hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but the next thing Blaine was aware of was light streaming through the window.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered, and was half-surprised to find Sebastian still there. He shook him awake.

“I think if we go downstairs now, we’ll start making breakfast before everyone wakes up and they won’t ask us questions,” Blaine said, opening his drawers for an outfit.

Sebastian stretched on the bed before climbing out and walking up to Blaine, bringing his arms around Blaine’s torso. He was still naked, and Blaine could feel him pressed against his ass.

“Sebastian -” he said, turning his head, but stopped when Sebastian started kissing his neck.

“Who cares what they think? I don’t want to hide that we’re together now,” he said, nipping Blaine’s ear lightly.

“I-” Blaine tried again, but it was cut off with a moan.

“Besides,” Sebastian said softly. “I believe I promised that I would let you fuck my mouth in the morning.”

-

They wound up going downstairs at about eleven, hair still wet from round three, in Blaine’s shower. Most of the kids were still asleep, when they checked the basement. They were strewn around the floor and on the couches. The only person up was Santana, who was sitting at Blaine’s kitchen table and drinking coffee.

“There you are, boys!” Santana said, too happy to be innocent. “I was starting to think you got lost in Blaine’s bed. You know, you’re lucky we’re such good people, or this house would be _trashed._ ”

Blaine looked at her warily. “Did you break something?”

She ignored him. “Anyway, how was your night? Mine went surprisingly well, we played Spin the Bottle slash Seven Minutes in Heaven, and guess who I got?”

“Brittany?” Blaine guessed based on her smile.

“Nope. Berry.”

“And... you’re happy about that? Did she talk at you for seven minutes?” Sebastian asked, pouring his own coffee from the pot Santana appeared to have brewed.

“No, that was the surprising part. She fucking came at me and like, aggressively made out with me the whole time. She was much drunker than I was, but now I’ve got dirt on her,” Santana smirked. “And she was a damn good kisser. I’m so glad we’re living together. Except for most of her personality.”

Santana stretched out like a cat before speaking again. “Is the reason you didn’t want us on this floor of the house so we couldn’t hear you guys fucking upstairs? Because I came up here to use the bathroom once and, holy shit.”

Blaine blushed. “Of all the people...” he started to mutter.

She patted his arm. “It’s all right. I’m one of the few people who wouldn’t have run to Kurt, although I’m pretty sure he noticed you two were missing for like, four hours before everyone passed out. I really hope it wasn’t some drunken hook-up and you guys are still like, ‘oh no we’re just friends with some fucking ridiculous sexual tension’ because if so, I will tear you apart.”

“No, no, we’re - dating?” Blaine almost said it as a question, nodding his head at Sebastian.

“Never thought I’d see the day. But yes,” Sebastian smiled at him.

People were starting to trudge up the stairs, and Blaine started making breakfast, with Sebastian as his “kitchen boy” as Blaine titled him with a giddy laugh, making him run around for ingredients and serving people. It felt like a first date, but at the same time, it felt like they had been going on dates for a long time already.

When everyone left, Sebastian stayed, telling the other Warblers that Blaine would bring him home, provoking some light teasing.

Then, they faced the battle of cleaning up. There were cups everywhere. It was mindless, punctuated by laughter and sing-offs.

Yes, it was the start to a very good month, and a very good year.

-

January was snow and coffee and plenty of firsts for both of them.

They went on “Real Dates” to the movies (where Sebastian _always_ felt Blaine up) and out to dinner (where Sebastian only _occasionally_ felt Blaine up), but their daily coffee dates were still their favorite.

With college applications done and graduation creeping closer, in addition to things going extremely well with Sebastian, Blaine was feeling great throughout January. The only prickle was that he and Kurt still weren’t on speaking terms, but he figured that, with time, they could heal the rift. He wasn’t going to concern himself with it anymore.

He was getting along really well with his parents - when he told them he was dating Sebastian, they seemed excited and eager to meet him. He didn’t tell them he was the one who had put him in the hospital the year before, but he figured what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

However, Sebastian’s relationship with his parents was worse than ever. Sebastian was tense and short when he spoke about it, merely saying that his dad was back after being away for a long time. Worse, he said, was that his dad had asked him to come home at least twice a week.

“I have no idea why he wants to see me twice a week. He’s been fine to not see me at all for months, and I have to. All he’s going to do is criticize me, and I can’t even fight him, Blaine, because I’m 18 and he can kick me out and, yes, I have a trust fund, but it’s not really meant to pay for college.”

Blaine couldn’t get much more out of him, and so mostly served to distract Sebastian from his family troubles.

-

One Thursday near the end of January, however, the doorbell rang during dinner.

“I’ll get it,” Blaine said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and rising. “It’s probably just a solicitor, Blaine. Leave it.”

“It’s fine, Mom, I’m already up. You guys keep eating,” he said, walking to the door. He opened it, fully expecting to talk down someone selling faster internet or windows or Christianity, so he was surprised when he opened the door to find Sebastian standing awkwardly on the porch.

“...Sebastian?” he asked, noticing how upset Sebastian looked, how vulnerable, with an arm wrapped around his body and downcast eyes.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, I was just - mad,” Sebastian started, but then Blaine’s mom rounded the corner, saying, “Come back to dinner, Blaine. Oh! Who’s this?”

Sebastian’s eyes flashed with horror for a second, and he backtracked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would be dinner, I can -”

“This is Sebastian, mom. Can he have dinner with us?” Blaine said firmly. She looked surprised, but hesitantly said, “Yes. We have enough. Is that okay, Sebastian?”

Sebastian looked uncomfortably to Blaine. “I don’t know if I can deal with any more parents tonight,” he said softly.

Blaine’s mother’s eyes hardened, glinting at the implication. “Well, Blaine’s father and I have been excited to meet you,” she took Sebastian by the arm and crowded him into the house, somehow guiding him to the table, with Blaine following behind, caught between amusement and anxiety.

The four of them sat around the table awkwardly. Blaine’s mom had set up a fourth place setting and served Sebastian.

“So, Sebastian, we never got it out of Blaine how you met. You’re at Dalton, correct?” Blaine’s father broke the silence.

“Yes. I transferred there right after Blaine left. I got his old dorm room, actually. The timing really sucked, I wish he’d stayed...”

“And what are you doing home on a Thursday? Blaine only ever came home on weekends.”

“Well, my dad is home, and he said he wanted me to visit more, but we don’t - get along, exactly, so I left. He’s probably still yelling at my spot at the table,” Sebastian finally ate some of his food.

Blaine’s parents exchanged a look. Blaine looked stressed and tense, so Sebastian wrapped his foot around Blaine’s ankle and felt him relax.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay here awhile. Now, Blaine didn’t talk about you, really at all, until this fall - but you met a year before that. Is that because Kurt left or just coincidence?” Blaine’s mom changed the topic.

“Mom-” Blaine protested, but Sebastian smirked a little. “Well, Kurt is a prick who hated when Blaine talked with me, but Blaine didn’t have a whole lot of options when Kurt left him, so...”

“Why didn’t Kurt like you?” Blaine’s mom asked curiously.

Blaine felt himself sweating. He had not been mentally or emotionally prepared for this.

“Probably because I tried to take Blaine from him for most of last year, but it could also be because he thought I was a -” he cut off with a small kick from Blaine.

“Actually, I think it was mostly that I tried to take Blaine from him. But I stopped that when we started talking again in the fall.”

After that, dinner talk was mostly mundane. Blaine was just relieved and somewhat surprised that Sebastian didn’t make any sexual innuendos. He even helped Blaine do the dishes after.

Blaine’s parents went to bed shortly after that, told them to be responsible, and said goodnight.

The two of them sat on the couch, and Sebastian suddenly, visibly, deflated. Blaine cuddled close to him, kissing his cheek and fiercely whispering, “What happened tonight? You’ve normally been okay with just a phone call after.”

Sebastian was silent for a minute. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and thin. “I can’t take that anymore, Blaine,” he said. “It was better when he just ignored me. I know he hates me, I just - don’t get why he was to tell me.”

Blaine’s heart plummeted. “And my mom - she just sits there and doesn’t do anything. I hate it there, Blaine. I just wanna get out - of that house, this town, this fucking - _state,_ god.”

“We’re going to be out so soon, Bas, it’s just a few months and we can leave and never come back. You just have to sit through it, I’ve just got to keep my head down at school, and we’re finished. For good.”

“You’re not going to keep your head down, though,” Sebastian said with a small smile, wrapping an arm around Blaine.

Blaine smiled widely back up at him. “Nope. I’m in the process of starting at Gay-Straight Alliance,” he wiggled his feet happily.

“My parents like you, you know. You can come here anytime you want.”

Sebastian leaned in to kiss Blaine, then, and they didn’t really talk after that.

-

It was almost Valentine’s day, and Mr. Schue’s wedding to Ms. Pillsbury was approaching.

Blaine was pretty sure he _hadn’t_  imagined the fear on Sebastian’s face when he asked if he wanted to do anything that day. Sebastian had recovered quickly, saying he would do whatever Blaine wanted, but Blaine just said to treat it like a normal day, despite the part of him yearning for some big romantic gesture.

He’d invited Sebastian to the wedding, and was picked up by him at 2.

He’d opened the door to find Sebastian there with a bouquet of flowers. “You know I don’t know what I’m doing with all this, but I know you were lying about not wanting to do anything and I remembered when you said your favorite flowers were mums, so -”

Blaine ended Sebastian’s slightly blushing speech with a hard kiss and a “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”

Confident again, Sebastian felt comfortable teasing, “What, no flowers for me?”

Blaine shook his head with a little grin. “I can’t give you your gift until tonight,” he said, voice laden with implication.

“Any clues?” Sebastian asked lowly, but Blaine just led him to the car so they could leave.

-

Blaine and Sebastian walked in the building about an hour later, laughing from making out in the car (Blaine still hadn’t given any clues).

They entered to find Kurt standing just inside of the door.

“Unbelievable,” Kurt said harshly.

Blaine flinched, said, “Are we doing this again?”

Kurt scowled and crossed his arms. “I knew I was right about you two.”

“For the last time, I never cheated on you. Sebastian and I are together _now ,_ though, so unless you want to have a real conversation, please just stop.”

Kurt’s face softened as he admitted, “Sometimes I miss you.”

Blaine gave Sebastian a look, silently asking him to leave. Pursing his lips, Sebastian said, “I think I left our present in the car,” and walked out, present in hand.

“Sometimes I miss you too, Kurt. You were my best friend for a while there, and I miss talking to you. Maybe in the future we can be friends again. I heard you got into NYADA, by the way. Congratulations.”

“Well, I expect you’ll be attending as well, come fall,” Kurt said with a small smile.

Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know. I applied, but.”

Kurt looked visibly shocked, at that. “I thought you always wanted to come to New York and perform!”

Blaine smiled sadly. “That was our plan, our dream. But I’m making new plans, Kurt, and I don’t even know if New York will be a part of them.”

“Plans with Sebastian,” Kurt said shortly, and Blaine felt dread curl in his stomach again.

“He’s helping me, yes,” Blaine acknowledged.

“He’s going to drop you as soon as he finds someone better. I’d be surprised if he isn’t already cheating on you now. He can’t love you.”

“That’s not true,” Blaine said, and was about to argue when Sebastian walked back in. “We’re gonna be late if we don’t go in now,” he said.

Blaine blinked at Kurt as he put an arm through Sebastian’s. “I’ll see you inside,” he said, before Sebastian led him in.

-

The wedding-that-wasn’t was, obviously, a disaster (though Blaine was actually half-pleased with Ms. Pillsbury), but the reception was _really awesome._

At least, that’s what Blaine thought, because in memory it was kind of fuzzy.

All he knew is that he woke up with Sebastian wrapped around him and feeling hungover and sore, but happy.

He turned around, buried his face in Sebastian’s shoulder and mouthed, “I love you,” because it was fighting to get out, but he wouldn’t say it, not yet. He had no idea if Sebastian loved him - knew he cared about him, yes. But there were still days when Sebastian would be distant or even mean, and it was so hard to know what Sebastian was thinking sometimes, let alone feeling, what with walls as high as his that were only just beginning to come down.

Sebastian shifted, then, started to wake up, and for a while, Blaine let himself forget.

-

But it ate at him, after that. Blaine was an emotional being, felt love with every part of him, and needed to express it, lest he explode, but in this case, he wasn’t sure that he could.

Just that fall Sebastian thought he would never date. Would a declaration of love just serve to freak him out?

Blaine didn’t want to risk it, but as February turned to March, it got harder.

It came to a head in the midst of March. Sebastian was in a bad mood for an unspecified reason and Blaine was in a bad mood because Regionals rehearsal had been trying that day, and he was running on little sleep.

There was a tense silence throughout their Lima Bean date that day, and they mostly did homework. However, starting on the car ride to Blaine’s they started to bicker.

By the time they got inside Blaine’s house, it was a full on argument about something so unimportant they both forgot it later, when Sebastian said, “I swear to god, Blaine, you can be so stubborn and I’m sick of it!” to which Blaine yelled, “Well, why don’t you just break up with me so you can fuck someone else and not deal with me anymore!”

Sebastian rapidly sobered, asked, “Do - do you want to break up?”

Blaine deflated, licked his lips. “No. God, Sebastian, I...” he ran a hand through his hair, breaking the gel bond and grimacing. He sat down on the couch heavily.

“It’s hard to know where I am with you, you know?” Blaine said. Sebastian sat down next to him. They didn’t touch.

“It’s just like - on days like this I can’t even be sure you want to be together, but other days, or things you do, I’m sure that you-” Blaine’s voice closed off.

“I need you to know, because we need to figure this out. Sebastian,” Blaine said quietly, looking up into those green eyes. “I love you.”

Sebastian was frozen.

“Are you going to stay?” Blaine asked, voice wavering.

And despite every part of his body, every instinct telling him to run, and far, Sebastian said, “Yes. I’ll stay.”

Relief broke out across Blaine’s face. “I needed you to know because, sometimes I just can’t tell how you feel about me at all. And I know it’s fast but I haven’t been able to stop worrying about it-”

Sebastian kissed him into relaxing. “It isn’t fast, Blaine. Think of how long we’ve been waiting. It isn’t fast. I love you, Blaine, so much. I always have, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you - sorry I didn’t _know_ , but I’m going to try so hard to make sure _you_ know, because I want this, Blaine. I want us.”

All the pieces came together and Sebastian felt a rush of emotion looking at Blaine’s shocked, but smiling face.

“You-”

“I love you, Bee,” and he didn’t think he’d be able to stop saying it. He hadn’t told anyone he loved them since he was a small child telling his mother, before that stopped. For years he swore he would never fall in love, but then there was this boy, _this boy,_ who made him break all of the promises he’d made to himself, ripped him into pieces and forged him back together, this boy that he loved.

“I love you too, Sebastian.” Blaine said, awestruck and unable to hide his tears.

They weren’t sure what would happen next, but then, they didn’t really care. They knew it would be good.

(And their first time together after that, Sebastian could stop telling Blaine he loved him, and all the reasons why, and all the parts he loved, and every time Blaine said he loved him too he felt a rush. It was the most intense sex he’d had in his life).

-

Acceptance emails came on April 1. Spring break started three days later.

Blaine got in... everywhere he'd applied - minus the performance schools, those results hadn’t come back yet. It wasn’t like he'd applied Ivy League or anything, but still. He was pretty proud of himself.

And then Sebastians suggested visiting the schools. Like a road trip all over the country. Just the two of them.

It sounded wonderful, even though they would probably just visit the east coast schools. When Blaine showed his parents the schools he'd gotten into, they were ecstatic. But, he said, he still wasn't sure where he wanted to go, he needed to visit.

They expressed concern about taking off work before Blaine's acceptance was due in May, and he saw his opportunity.

"Sebastian needs to visit schools too, he's doing a big trip over spring break. He's invited me to come with him," he told his mother the next day.

At first she was skeptical. "Are you going to the same cities? Does he have a car? Are you sure you want to?" and of course, "Is this really going to be a college visit trip?"

"Of course it is, mom" Blaine rolled his eyes.

"And are you going to sleep in his car?" she asked, eyeing him.

"Um. No. We'll probably, stay in hotels."

"With two beds, I'm assuming?" she said, playfully now, and Blaine was pretty sure that was a good sign. "Y...es?"

"Right. Well, I'll have to talk to your father about it, but I trust that you are going to do this for the right reasons.

-

Surprisingly, two days later, he was packing Sebastian’s car on their way to Boston at 5 am.

They’d made their reservations for the school visits, and tours, and what cities they would visit when, and Blaine was pretty sure he wasn’t going to sleep for a week.

The first day, all they did was drive. Blaine had never been on such a long car ride in his life, and he felt like he was going to die. Sebastian started out driving, due to Blaine being a complete zombie in the morning, and switched after seven hours. They found some great places to eat and discovered drive-thru starbucks (Blaine stared at the drive-thru sign until someone behind them honked. Sebastian teased that Blaine was about to start crying, when Blaine said he had never seen anything so beautiful).

They finally pulled into their hotel after 9 pm. Boston traffic was truly horrific (“It shouldn’t take 15 minutes to go a mile! It’s not right!” Blaine shouted after being in stop and go traffic for an hour).  They unpacked the car, since they would be staying for two nights, except the only luggage trolley had a broken wheel, and between the two of them, they couldn’t stop bumping into things. It led to a bout of hysterical laughter after they simply could not get the trolley into the elevator.

After much effort, they got it into the elevator, and then into their room (another struggle entirely). They unpacked haphazardly, mourning the lack of hangers in the closet and both silently relishing in the togetherness of putting their clothes together.

“I’m surprised you didn’t bring any blazers,” Blaine said to Sebastian.

“Oh, I did. But it’s for you, in case you want to be my naughty schoolboy -”

“You did not.”

“No, I didn’t, but I do have one in your size back at my house if you’re interested when we get home,” Sebastian said, plugging in his phone, looking up at Blaine and grinning.

“If I say yes, will you bring this trolley back down?” Blaine says, leaning against it and smiling coyly.

“Wait, seriously?” Sebastian stands.

“Maybe. Take it down anyway, because you love me?” Blaine fluttered his eyelashes up at Sebastian and laughs when Sebastian leans down to kiss him quickly. “And you’re lucky I do, because I’m really not sure how I’m going to get this down by myself. Or even out of this room.”

“I’m sure you can do it. Because when you get back I’ll have showered and my hair will curly, which you like for some unknown reason.”

Blaine helped Sebastian push the trolley out of the room, at which point Sebastian leaned down to Blaine’s ear and whispered, “I like it like that because I like the noise you make when I pull it.”

Blaine grinned and shut the door on him.

-

When Sebastian got back in, Blaine was sitting up in bed with one lamp on, leaning forward tiredly.

“I’m really sleepy,” Blaine said, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “I waited for you to get back but I just want to sleep. Can we just sleep tonight?”

Sebastian smiled dopily. “Of course, Bee.” He kissed him for a moment, soft and sweet, before stripping down to his underwear and laying next to Blaine. He propped his head up with his elbow. “I’m really glad that you came with me,” he said quietly.

Blaine smiled back at him, eyes closing. “Me too. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Sebastian whispered, before Blaine rolled over and scooted back, letting Sebastian spoon him, taking Sebastian’s arm and wrapping it around his stomach.

He felt Sebastian mouthing at the back of his neck, and he was going to ask what he was saying, but before he could, he was falling asleep.

-

They woke up to the sound of a blaring alarm and barely managed to leave the hotel in time to sit through traffic. They scheduled their college visits together, mostly, because they had a lot of the same schools. That day they went to Boston University, and then Boston College in the afternoon, and then they went back to the hotel for a nap.

“I know we made fun of each other’s running shoes, but I’m pretty sure if we didn’t have them my feet would have literally fallen off. Why is there so much walking on the campus tour,” Blaine mumbled into a pillow.

“Only five more days,” Sebastian said, enjoying Blaine’s groan of dissatisfaction. “Don’t sleep too long. Tonight we’re going out.”

And maybe that was the plan, but it didn’t work out that way. They woke up at 6 in the morning for no good reason at all, except they’d been sleeping 12 hours.

There were two more schools in Boston to visit, for Blaine: Brandeis and Berklee. Sebastian didn’t have a fourth school, so he agreed to pack their hotel room up while Blaine did the tour, and pick Blaine up when it was done so they could leave for New York.

It was another incredibly busy, but productive day, and Blaine loved Boston. “I think I could see myself here,” he said to Sebastian after they left.

“At one of the schools?”

Blaine considered that question. “I don’t think so. I didn’t - feel anything special about them. Aren’t you supposed to feel something special? But the city. I could live here after college, maybe.”

He watched Sebastian slowly smile. “Me too, Blaine.”

-

They got to the city before dark, and spent a couple hours doing touristy things. “Maybe we can do another trip together, sometime, and spend more time visiting instead of hearing the same things over and over again from schools we won’t attend.”

It was too cold for April, so they were wearing winter coats, and of everything from that moment, he remembered Sebastian’s pink-cheeked smile the best.

He was smiling more and more - usually to Blaine. It was so much better than his smirk, and Blaine felt warm every time Sebastian fixed him with another grin.

“And now we are going to a club, because we didn’t get to do it in Boston and I never got to suck you off in a bathroom stall at Scandals. We need to change that, and that club.”

With that he pulled Blaine to some gay club that he’d researched, bribed the bouncer to let them in, and everything after that was a little fuzzy, but Blaine did remember that Sebastian was true to his word.

-

As bad as college tours had seemed up to that point, hungover college tours were worse. Blaine was about ready to skip the NYADA session, before Sebastian prodded him into going. He knew the moment he stepped in that it wasn’t for him, and wondered why he hadn’t realized sooner that he wasn’t going to be a performer.

He skipped the campus tour after the information session ended, and went back to the hotel while he waited for Sebastian to finish at NYU, and found a good place to have lunch (some tavern with awesome hamburgers) before they did the Columbia tour together.

It was nice, but it wasn’t for Blaine.

In a surprise to himself, he wasn’t upset that he wasn’t going to end up in NYC. It felt like the right thing to happen. He loved New York, but his life (with Kurt) didn’t revolve around it anymore.

That night, they left for Philadelphia, and stayed in another mediocre hotel. They visited UPenn in the morning and then left for DC, arriving a few minutes late for the American University information session.

The weather was nicer that day (maybe it was just because they were a bit more south), so they toured DC, visiting a bunch of monuments and mourning the tarp covering the Monument.

When they passed the Capitol, Blaine wondered aloud if he should have called Kurt’s dad for a tour of the legislative buildings.

They walked back to their hotel instead of calling a cab.

“Maybe after you and Kurt have made up,” Sebastian suggested.

“You suggesting that I’ll be here? Also, you want Kurt and I to make up?”

“Well, I know you didn’t like American, but I think that you’ll like one of the schools tomorrow. And, to be honest, I don’t really want you to make up with Kurt. But I know that being at odds with him makes you upset, so despite the fact that he is a huge dick, yes, I would eventually like you to make up. Only after he’s properly apologized to you for fucking tearing you apart -”

“Sebastian,” Blaine said warningly. Sebastian held up his hands in defense as they got to the hotel. “I was there. I’m allowed to say it.”

“I’m so tired of thinking about it, honestly,” Blaine said.

“I know that deep down, he’s not actually the antichrist, but -”

“I didn’t say that you had to be friends.”

“He hates me. You know that?”

“Done talking about it.”

-

Blaine immediately went to shower, leaving Sebastian to wait outside. He sighed, before stripping and entering the bathroom.

“Hi,” he said, before sliding into the shower behind Blaine. Blaine sighed. “Hi.”

He took the shampoo from Blaine’s hand before lathering it and working it into Blaine’s hair.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about Kurt,” Sebastian admitted, tilting Blaine’s head back and rinsing the shampoo out.

“No, no. I’m in the wrong. I’m tired and I’m sorry I was mean,” Blaine said, turning around. “You were the one who helped me with Kurt in the first place - we’re just at an impasse and I don’t like fighting with anyone,” he got up onto his toes to briefly kiss Sebastian, but when Sebastian closed his eyes to deepen the kiss, Blaine was climbing out of the shower.

“You finish showering. I’m going to get ready for you, and then I want to ride you.”

-

Sebastian walked out, briefly towel-dried, a few minutes later, to find Blaine had been true to his word.

He was spread out on the bed, legs wide and three fingers in his ass. Sebastian felt his mouth go dry as he took Blaine in.

Blaine noticed him, then, whined, “Sebastian, please,.”

Sebastian almost tripped over himself in his rush to get over there, kissed Blaine hard, felt him shaking below him.

Blaine pulled his fingers out and wiped his fingers off on Sebastian’s towel. “I’m ready, I’m ready, god -”

Sebastian kissed Blaine’s lips once more before sliding down Blaine’s body, wrapping his lips around Blaine’s cock for a second before spreading Blaine’s legs apart.

He groaned at the sight of Blaine’s hole, open and ready for him.

He pressed a kiss to Blaine’s rim, listening to the rush of breath as Blaine breathed in, body tense with anticipation.

He started licking at Blaine’s hole, first soft kitten licks as he listened to Blaine’s little moans of pleasure. He could hear Blaine slowly stroking himself above him.

He pressed his tongue in harder, breaching Blaine’s hole and groaning when he hears Blaine squeak out a “fuck!”

It was filthy, and something Sebastian liked to do to Blaine on a semi regular basis, and Blaine wasn’t one to complain. It had been one of Sebastian’s biggest fantasies from the day he’d met Blaine and saw his ass. He had dreamed of spreading Blaine apart on the table and eating him out until he screamed his name.

But Blaine was still begging for more, begging for Sebastian’s cock, and Sebastian knew that the screaming would have to be another time.

He thrust his tongue into Blaine a few more times before pulling away and pressing one last kiss to his hole.

Blaine was sweating and looked dazed as Sebastian crawled back up his body with a grin. Blaine pulled him into another kiss and Sebastian moaned, pushing his tongue past Blaine’s lips.

Blaine broke away a few moments later and  flipped them over, clumsily spreading lube over Sebastian’s cock before sinking down with a whimper.

Sebastian’s hands went to his hips, anchored him as he sunk down, leaning his head back and swallowing.

“Fuck, Blaine,” Sebastian bit out. “So fucking tight, so good for me, look at you. God I wish you’d seen the way you looked when I walked out here and saw you fucking yourself with your fingers,”

Blaine shuddered and started to ride Sebastian, fucking down and grinding hard as he wrapped a hand around his cock.

“So desperate,” Sebastian gasped. “Love you much you want it, how much you love getting fucked. I can see how happy it makes you, the fucking smile you get when you’re full of me, Blaine, _fuck_.”

“Want you to fuck me,” Blaine said.

Sebastian gripped Blaine’s hips hard, stopped him and pulled his cock out before flipping Blaine over, onto his stomach on the bed before climbing over him.

He bracketed his hands around Blaine’s head and pressed a quick kiss to his shoulderblade before reaching down and guiding his cock back into Blaine’s hole.

Blaine let out a long, high whine that cut off when Sebastian bottomed out.

Sebastian started to fuck him hard, loving the _slap_ of their skin together, of knowing that his hips would leave red marks in Blaine’s ass that wouldn’t fade for a while. He wondered if Blaine would ever let him leave bruises on him, wondered if Blaine would like that.

Blaine was letting out little “huh” sounds, fingers clenching hard into the pillow.

It was just noises, then, grunts and cut-off whines.

“Fuck, Seb, Sebastian, I’m close,” Blaine said, reaching for Sebastian’s hand and holding tight.

“Can you come just like this? Just with my cock in your ass rubbing against the sheets?”

“Yes, yes, kiss me, kissme please,” Blaine begged, and Sebastian did, leaning down and kissing Blaine - it was sloppy, mostly just trying to get close and panting into each others’ mouths.

“So beautiful like this,” Sebastian said, and Blaine was coming. He was caught between fucking up to Sebastian and rubbing down, against the sheets, before he went slack.

Sebastian made to pull out, but stopped when Blaine said, “Keep fucking me. I want you to come.”

Sebastian only lasted for a few moments after that, hips stuttering before coming to rest against Blaine’s ass. He sagged, pressing a kiss to the knob on the back of Blaine’s neck before pulling out and rolling off of him.

Blaine looked like he was already falling asleep - in the wet spot, ew - so Sebastian rolled him over and wiped him off, covering him up and climbing into bed behind him, humming a song he couldn’t identify until he fell asleep.

-

Blaine woke up before the alarm went off the next morning.

“Last day,” he murmured, and felt a twinge of anxiety. He’d visited eight schools, and while he liked some more than others, he hadn’t been anywhere that made him feel special, hadn’t been somewhere that almost felt like _home_.

What if he didn’t feel that today? He started to worry, before the alarm went off and Sebastian woke up with it. Blaine put on a smile for him, and pushed his nerves to the back of his mind.

“Are we going to do hotel breakfast or find some café?” Sebastian said blearily. “Did you know café in French means -”

“Coffee. You tell me every time you suggest we go to a café in the morning. Maybe the French embassy would have something you’d like. Let’s do hotel coffee on our way to a cafe. We could see what kind of pastries the hotel has?” Blaine suggested, stretching out on the bed.

“Or,” Sebastian said, nosing at Blaine’s neck. “I could fuck you again.”

“Mm,” Blaine hummed quietly. “You’re going to have trouble adjusting when we get home and can’t do it whenever you want.”

Sebastian got his way, of course. It’s not like Blaine wanted anything else.

-

They ended up having to run out of the hotel, grabbing mediocre coffee and even more mediocre pastries, but they made it to GW’s information session just fine.

“Reminds me of Dalton, a bit,” Blaine said. “Except people have even more money and are less nice.”

A no for that, then.

-

That left Georgetown, after they had lunch at some Irish restaurant they found (with great American food, of course).

Blaine couldn’t put his finger on it, in hindsight, but when he walked onto the campus, it felt different. The information session was different. The tour was different.

Blaine felt special there, and then, he knew. Even if he couldn’t explain it.

-

They ended up talking to the guide and administration officials for longer than they anticipated, which pushed their estimated arrival time back home from 12 to 2, since they would be dealing with DC rush hour.

Not really upset by this, they stopped at a bed and breakfast before the West Virginia/Ohio border and stayed there for the night (after phoning home, naturally).

They were too wired to sleep, that night. They lay up for a while, talking about the trip, looking up at the ceiling and holding hands.

“So, did you find the one? I know we promised to wait until after we sent in our acceptances, but - I’ve decided,” Sebastian said.

Nerves twisted around in Blaine’s stomach. “I think I did. We could - we know what we’re doing, we’re not going to plan around each other. But it wouldn’t hurt to know? Where are you -”

“American,” Sebastian answered quickly. Blaine’s breath caught. “Georgetown.”

A this-is-too-good-to-be-true smile spread across Sebastian’s face as he turned to look at Blaine. “That’s so great, Bee. I know you were worried about finding the right school, but - you did. And we’ll be right close together anyway, if you wanna keep this going after we graduate.”

Blaine smiled, leaning up and kissing Sebastian. “I think I definitely will.”

-

The bed and breakfast had an awesome breakfast - stacks of pancakes from a grandmotherly old woman who had a huge refrigerator covered with magnets saying things like “Obama 2012” and “Ready for Hillary” which was awesome. She gave them breakfast for free, and kept them talking for much longer than they had meant to.

“You boys take care,” she said as they walked out to leave.

The car ride after that was uneventful, but it seemed unreal. When Sebastian pulled up to Blaine’s house, Blaine had the ridiculous impulse to tell Sebastian to just keep driving, because it couldn’t be over so soon.

But he didn’t, and after Sebastian helped him unpack his things to his room, Sebastian left, separating the two of them for the first time in a week.

-

Blaine was distracted for much of the next week at school. Besides the senioritis that he was trying (and failing) to fight, he was researching - basically, what his future would be. And if that wasn’t stressful, he thought, he didn’t know what was.

His mother was gone for a few days, visiting her sister, who had just become a grandmother. Blaine couldn’t miss school and Blaine’s dad couldn’t take off work, so she had gone by herself.

It was a little awkward - they didn’t interact much. Their relationship was better, but Mr. Anderson wasn’t much of a talker, and when that Thursday rolled around, Blaine was very surprised to come home after coffee with Sebastian to find his father cooking dinner. He tried not to show it, and instead laughed at the apron his dad was wearing - it was his mother’s, pink and flowery and so, so 90’s.

He decided to do his homework on the kitchen table that day, and they kitchen was silent except for the scratch of pencil on paper and whatever noises the food was making as it was cooked.

When dinner was ready, they ate quietly, talking a little bit about their weeks, wondering how Blaine’s mother was doing.

“You remember when you told me you thought I would be good at politics?” Blaine asked suddenly, putting his fork down.

“Yes.”

“Did you mean it? Do you still?” Blaine asked, stuttering a little bit.

“I do. Have you thought about it?”

“Yeah - I think that that’s what I want. To do. I want to, help people, like you said, and change how things work.”

Blaine’s father smiled at him. “I am so proud of you, Blaine - that’s not just for deciding that’s what you want, that’s for being who you are. I know you can do this because I know you can make the world better - you are such a _good person,_ Blaine, and you’ve dealt with so much, and I need you to know just how _proud_ we are of you, how proud _I_ am of you.”

Blaine felt his face warm and a lump come up in his throat. He glanced down at his lap before meeting his father’s eyes. “Thanks, dad,” he said, and smiled.

-

April passed quickly. Blaine and Sebastian mailed their confirmation of attendance together near the end of the month, marveling at how the year had passed.

The New Directions and the Warblers had lost Regionals to some up-out-of-nowhere glee club that was really, really amazing. Blaine thought he would be crushed, Sebastian thought he would be angry, but to their surprise, neither of them were. Disappointed, yes, but... surprisingly okay after a while.

They went out that night - not to a bar, but to some lake Sebastian knew, and lied on the dock, looking up at the stars and talking.

“I was pretty sure you were never going to talk to me again,” Sebastian admitted when Blaine asked him how he had thought the year was going to go. “I thought I was going to go to some Ivy League and never see you again, and eventually I would hear that you and Kurt had gotten married and completely forgotten about me.”

Blaine turned to look at him. “I thought that was going to happen too. But I think part of me knew it wouldn’t. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade this for the world.”

-

The biggest surprise was Kurt showing up for supposedly no reason to glee rehearsal the next Monday. Blaine almost turned right around to leave, but decided to stay, because really - there weren’t that many more meetings, and it was the first one after a major loss.

Kurt was mostly quiet through the rehearsal, offering some words of advice for the younger members and sympathy for the graduating class. That was surprising in of itself, but the biggest surprise was him asking for Blaine to stay at the end.

He almost said, “no,” but it looked like Kurt had flown out to - see him? And Blaine wouldn’t have that be for nothing.

_If he flew out here for you, he wouldn’t do it to get mad again, would he?_

“I need to apologize,” Kurt said when the room was empty.

“Oh,” Blaine managed.

“I messed up. I was naive, and lost in my own life, and I didn’t take good care of you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t listen - every time you told me what was wrong, that I blamed everything on you. I know this is coming too late, but since you’ll be in New York next year, I wanted to make amends, if I could.”

“I’m not going to New York. I’m going to DC,” Blaine said mutedly. Kurt looked taken aback. “I guess both of us have changed,” he said in answer.

“For the better, I would hope,” Blaine said. “What made you realize, out of curiosity?”

Kurt bit his lip. “I had a dream. I remembered what you said when you were telling me what was wrong, and it was like, manifested in my head. And it made me really, terribly, sad, because I could see what I was doing to you. And I woke up just - understanding what you’ve been trying to tell me.”

Blaine nodded. “I’m glad.”

“Do you think it ever would have worked out between us?” Kurt asked.

Sitting in a chair, Blaine thought for a minute. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve changed so much since the beginning of this year - I can’t even imagine it anymore.”

Kurt nodded sadly.

“I’m seeing someone new,” he said after a minute or two.

“That’s good,” Blaine said earnestly. He was happy to not feel upset at the news that Kurt had a new boyfriend. Offhandedly, he wondered why he didn’t feel more around Kurt. More sad, angry, nostalgic - he didn’t know. He felt relatively numb - but it was a comfortable sort of numb.

“I accept your apology,” he said. “Don’t do the same thing with your new guy,” he joked, smiling a little.

With that the tension was broken. Kurt smiled back. “I won’t.”

“What’s his name?”

“Adam.”

Blaine was glad Sebastian was too busy to have coffee that day, then. He and Kurt were caught up talking for a couple hours - about boyfriends, fashion, graduation. Blaine had missed that part of their relationship - maybe the boyfriends part was new, but the just talking, the friendship. He was glad to have that back.

-

McKinley’s graduation was the week before Dalton’s.

Sebastian had helped him get ready that morning. “A man of many tassels,” he’d said. Blaine grinned. “It’s a lot easier to get them at McKinley than Dalton, I’d suspect.”

“Well, I’ve got one more for you,” Sebastian said. Blaine looked at him curiously.

Sebastian pulled out a braided red and blue tassel and held it up to show Blaine. “So that we’re with you up there.”

Taking it from him, Blaine regarded it seriously, feeling the threat of tears. He looked at Sebastian and quietly said, “Thank you. Will you put it on?”

Sebastian did, with a practiced hand Blaine didn’t know he had. He wondered if Sebastian made the tassel by himself or if all the Warblers had helped.

“The guys want to say congratulations, and that you’d better be there next week,” Sebastian said when he was finished.

“Of course I will,” Blaine said, smiling, and got up on his tiptoes to kiss Sebastian.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Blaine said when they broke apart, feeling how tightly Sebastian was holding him.

Sebastian nodded. “It’s time.”

Blaine looked behind him, where Sam was waving at him to hurry up.

“You go get in the audience,” Blaine said.

“I love you,” Sebastian said suddenly.

Blaine took his hand, said, “I love you too,” pressed a kiss to his cheek, and left.

A few minutes later, when he accepted his diploma and looked out into the audience, he saw his parents and Cooper standing with Sebastian, and Sebastian still pressing his hand to his cheek.

-

Blaine didn’t have to go to class anymore, but Sebastian did. They still met up every day at 3 for coffee - maybe iced coffee in the heat that never seemed to go away, but the same table in the Lima Bean all the same.

The day before Sebastian’s graduation, he admitted something to Blaine.

“I don’t think my parents are coming.”

Cocking his head to the side, Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “What?”

“My parents aren’t coming to my graduation.”

“I mean - _why?”_ Blaine asked, feeling anger rise in his chest.

“Why do you think, Blaine?” Sebastian answered snarkily.

Blaine laid his hand on Sebastian’s. “Don’t.”

Sebastian deflated, and Blaine felt a deep sadness pierce his heart. “I’m going to be there,” he said half-heartedly.

Sebastian managed a small smile, at that. “You better be.”

-

Sure enough, when the next day came around and Blaine took his seat, there were two empty ones next to him.

But not for long. After he kissed Sebastian and wished the rest of the Warblers good luck and congratulations, he whipped out his cell phone. “You can come out now,” he said.

And when Sebastian came out to receive his diploma, he saw exactly what Blaine saw when he was doing it the week before - his boyfriend, and Blaine’s parents, standing there and clapping - _smiling_ at him, even, and he almost tripped off the stage. He couldn’t take his eyes off them, lined up with his classmates in a daze.

And when they were allowed to go, he rushed through the crowd and kissed Blaine, ignoring the people around them, the cheers and whoops, and just focused on Blaine, and how he was smiling into the kiss.

He pulled away, looking at Blaine’s parents for just a second before they pulled him into a hug - both shorter than him - and felt happy. He met Blaine’s eyes and found them wet, but scrunched into that (adorable) smile that Blaine got when he was really happy.

And everything was great.

-

Epilogue:

**August 2016**

“How do we have so much stuff?” Sebastian huffed as he set another heavy box down.

“You knew what you were signing up for when you suggested we move in together, don’t complain. We’re almost halfway done,” Blaine said, perched atop their minibar separating the kitchen from the living room.

Sebastian sat down onto the couch hard. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t!” Blaine said, waving his left hand and letting the ring catch the light. He jumped down and sat down next to Sebastian.

“Thank you for carrying all the stuff. Although it’s pretty evenly split as for who has more.”

“Definitely you,” Sebastian said. “It’s the bowties.”

Blaine bit his lip to hide his laughter. “It could be the bowties.”

“Mm,” Sebastian hummed, wrapping an arm around Blaine.

“You love them,” Blaine teased, leaning up for a kiss.

Parting, Sebastian clarified, “I love you.”

Blaine reached up to put a few strands of fallen hair back into place for Sebastian, and smiled, saying, “I love you too. Now finish unpacking this apartment.”


End file.
